I've just been watching the Karate Kid again. They'll always been a place in my heart for that movie. It reminds me of being 12 and using Phillip "Huda" Harper to perfect my round house kicks. Aaaah picking on the fat kid..happy days. It's very clever isn't it though...who'd have thunked that all that time he was doing those manual chores he was actually learning Karate? Brilliant.
They're a devious lot those orientals aren't they. He's lucky though that Danial San was so honest. Had that been me left alone all day to do all that painting and sanding, I'd have just paid a couple of Mexicans to do it and spent the whole day at Golf 'n Stuff playing Out-Run.
They're a devious lot those orientals aren't they. He's lucky though that Danial San was so honest. Had that been me left alone all day to do all that painting and sanding, I'd have just paid a couple of Mexicans to do it and spent the whole day at Golf 'n Stuff playing Out-Run.
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My best friend has just run a marathon, literally about ten minutes ago. I'm impressed by this. I just can't comprehend how physically demanding it must be to run for twenty-six miles. I can barely walk to the Spar without shitting myself. Well done to my best chum, that's what I always say, I'm immensely proud of you sir.
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I believe it's the Chinese new year tomorrow. The year of the Ox. Since I'm from Oxford I can only assume that means this year will be my year..and everyone else's year who lives in Oxford, but mostly my year.
From the minimum of research it seems that the Chinese new year according myths and legends began with a fight against a beast possibly resembling a dragon, which used to appear on a certain day every year and kill everyone and eat all their food and shit on everyone's bonfires.
The villagers began to wise up a bit though and left food on their door steps which the beast would eat instead of killing everyone. They also found the beast was scared of a kid dressed in red so they'd all hang red laterns up and let off fire crackers.
Eventually he was captured by a Monk and used as his mount (ooh matron!). Not much of a beast if you ask me; scared of children and lost a fight to a man in a nappy!? But to be fair to the Chinese I find this story far more exciting and believable than the story of Christ and of the two legends I know which one I'd rather base the beginning of time on.
In fact as of now I'm adopting the Agrarian calendar and I shall wear a red jumper tonight for the £40 freeze-out I'm due to play in order to ward off the bad-beat monsters.
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Finally, the Hoff telling it like it is
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