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I had to get up early today which I found incredibly unpleasant, made even more unpleasant by the pissing rain. In fact people, it was shitting rain. It was so hard the skies were shitting rain. I also turned on my TV to be confronted by Dick Cheney having some sort of pow wow of evil in Georgia with Mikhail Saakashvili.
I don't know how Dick Cheney's wife copes with seeing his satanic boat race every morning, but after witnessing it myself, I still feel kind of on edge several hours later. As I went about my business this morning, my car being rain-twatted with such force I feared for my windscreen, all I could think about was why am I living this life? Have I truly been forsaken or am I just lazy? How much effort would be involved in relocating to a place where the weather was clement and the TV channels weren't filled with evil?
More effort than is demanded currently on my patience to tolerate this shit? No. But I shall remain here forever. Relentless down pours, day after day of pissing rain, so little sunshine I've developed rickets even in my penis. I can piss round corners it's so wonky. And I'm going to just put up with it. Forever and ever.
I went to the big house today. I hate hospitals, just corridors and corridors of misery and bad news. I found out today that I am almost certainly immortal. This is terrible news. Far from deteriorating, my condition seems to be gradually improving with age. What in the name of the good lord and all he has fucked did I do to deserve that?
I must have gotten drunk and bargained with the devil some time ago. This Faustian pact has left me with nothing to do for the rest of eternity and in perpetually damp weather. Satan really saw me coming on this one. Is it possible my sins are manifest in this weather? If I give to charity later today will it brighten up? It does rain when I wank now I come to think about it.
But, the more it rains the more my mood darkens. It's a vicious circle. I'm not strong enough to break the chain. There is not enough good in me. Not enough conflict. I'm no Darth Vadar. I shall just have to accept my lot and buy a brolly. Eventually I'll come to welcome the rain and the darkness. Only the angel who falls knows the depths of hell. Fun times.
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Anecdote,
Not Awesome
I had to get up early today which I found incredibly unpleasant, made even more unpleasant by the pissing rain. In fact people, it was shitting rain. It was so hard the skies were shitting rain. I also turned on my TV to be confronted by Dick Cheney having some sort of pow wow of evil in Georgia with Mikhail Saakashvili.
I don't know how Dick Cheney's wife copes with seeing his satanic boat race every morning, but after witnessing it myself, I still feel kind of on edge several hours later. As I went about my business this morning, my car being rain-twatted with such force I feared for my windscreen, all I could think about was why am I living this life? Have I truly been forsaken or am I just lazy? How much effort would be involved in relocating to a place where the weather was clement and the TV channels weren't filled with evil?
More effort than is demanded currently on my patience to tolerate this shit? No. But I shall remain here forever. Relentless down pours, day after day of pissing rain, so little sunshine I've developed rickets even in my penis. I can piss round corners it's so wonky. And I'm going to just put up with it. Forever and ever.
I went to the big house today. I hate hospitals, just corridors and corridors of misery and bad news. I found out today that I am almost certainly immortal. This is terrible news. Far from deteriorating, my condition seems to be gradually improving with age. What in the name of the good lord and all he has fucked did I do to deserve that?
I must have gotten drunk and bargained with the devil some time ago. This Faustian pact has left me with nothing to do for the rest of eternity and in perpetually damp weather. Satan really saw me coming on this one. Is it possible my sins are manifest in this weather? If I give to charity later today will it brighten up? It does rain when I wank now I come to think about it.
But, the more it rains the more my mood darkens. It's a vicious circle. I'm not strong enough to break the chain. There is not enough good in me. Not enough conflict. I'm no Darth Vadar. I shall just have to accept my lot and buy a brolly. Eventually I'll come to welcome the rain and the darkness. Only the angel who falls knows the depths of hell. Fun times.
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