Voy Por Ustedes

So I'm having a snooze this afternoon on my sofa and am woken with a start as my door bell rings. I manage to work out that it means there's someone at my door and just manage to find my front door and get it open before the caller gives up and walks off.

My eyes are blurry, but I zero in on a huge square blue badge on the guys blazer. "Good afternoon sir, I'm sorry did I wake you?" he inquires very politely.

I say nothing at first. I focus on the blue badge. There are some white letters on it and the thought occurs that this bloke is from Blue Square and I've had a huge accumulator come in that I'd forgotten about.

I then look at his hands though and he's holding a bunch of cards sporting pictures of ducks. I realise he's from the RSPB. Meanwhile I still haven't answered his question as to whether or not he's woken me up. The 6 or 7 seconds of silence so far as him feeling uneasy.

I should have apologised to him and explained respectfully that I'm not currently in a position to make a contribution. All I could manage though was, "I hate birds."

"Er,...oh OK sir no problem, thank you er..thank you for your time."

I felt bad about this. I wanted to say thank you, but no thank you and good luck etc, but my mouth wouldn't cooperate. "I hate birds" was all I said to him. He'll go away from this experience thinking I'm a total cunt.

It's true I don't like birds, but I respect charity workers and I don't like being rude to them. Had he been a Jehovah's Witness I'd have stuck the pages of his silly book together with some of my wank, but not a charity worker. Bad Richie.