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I've just read some of the transcript from Tiger Woods' plea for absolution. Tee hee, sigh and gasp, what an awkward fifteen minutes of shash that must have been for all in attendance. It's depressing really. If I hadn't resigned from the world some years ago I'd jolly well compose an email to that young man. Sod off, I'd tell him. Sod off, get over yourself. Gertchaaa, Rich, Oxford.

It's all just so mind numbingly cynical. Americans probably bought it though which is all that matters as it's them he needs to keep him in the waitresses he's become accustomed to, but he could saved a lot of people some time by just saying, please forget what I did and there's a fiddy in it for you.

Back in the day the only people that were afforded the levels of respect now given to the likes of the boy Woods were truly great people. Your Plato's, your Ghandi's, your Doctor Martin Luther the King jnr's, your Socrates's's's (although fair do's they did kill him) and your Cliff Bastins.

Now it's just anyone who makes a lot of money. That's it isn't it people. It's all about the Green. Hahaha, see what I did there - I made a golfing pun. Tiger Woods is not able to stand before a carefully selected group of peoples and the worlds sporting media because he's possibly the best golfer ever ever, he can demand such attentions cause he can make a billion dollars a year and so can the people who endorse him and they don't want to forego the chance to secure all those future monies.

Phil Taylor is as good at Darts as Woods is at Golf, better in fact - elsewise it would be Tiger "the power" Woods - but Taylor has been found knee deep in school girls and Angel Delight and not been required to make the same kind of pride swallowing plea for forgiveness Woods has just made - cause Taylor only makes a few hundred thousand a year and relatively little for anyone else so no one cares (comparatively speaking), where as Woods makes a billion a year and so so much more for many thousands of other dudes and TV companies also so can stop traffic for fourteen minutes with even the most self-indulgent of driveling pious nonsense.

There's no need for him to be making any apologies on moral grounds of course, we all know this. He's broken no rules on that score as it's only the most fanatical Muslim type states in the world that have a moral code any more - places where they're still stoning girls to death for showing too much toe and so on.

If Woods lived in Saudi Arabi they'd have to set up a committee and invite scholars, law makers, butchers and surgeons to explore human suffering and it's boundaries and then draw up new laws in order to figure out where on earth to start with his punishments.

Your modern society ceased viewing infidelity as something to be ashamed of about twenty years ago. It's quite the opposite now. I must admit to being surprised and quite impressed by how many waitresses he'd managed to get through while still being successful on the course. No wonder his knees were in such poor state.

After John Terry's 'post-training warm downs' were revealed, the football media were more concerned about whether Wayne Bridge would remain as an under study for Ashley Cole than how is wife might have felt. She didn't seem that bothered either to be fair. She might have gone to pieces a couple of decades ago, but she was just able to keep it together long enough to go shopping in Dubai. What a trooper.

Still, he must be seen to be contrite and we must be be seen to struggle with the moral dilemma before absolving him of his heinous screwing around. Unless you're a cazillionaire and more importantly you're making other people cazillionaires, you have to rape and murder children to cause genuine outrage these days on grounds of morality.

That's the bar we've set for ourselves. Anything short of that is just a charade. Of course there is a power greater than ESPN, and Woods will be judged by Him! You can lie to us Tiger, but you can't lie to Jesus.

Haha what? I got bored and forgot where I was going with this. Haha...I've got the giggles now.

Labels: Nonsense, Sport