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I knew it, I've been telling people about this for years. If.., I've been telling people, IF the Argies want the Malvinas back all they have to do is take 'em. What are we gonna do about it? Even if we had the soldiers to see them off again, we don't have a Navy or an Air Force to get them down there anymore.

Attack France that's what we need to do, and fast!! Get Bob Ainsworth on the case. It's the French that armed Argentina last time anyway, I bet Sarkozy is preparing the Argies' shopping list of missiles as we speak. We've never really stopped fighting them. Entente-Cordiale my hairy balls. They were arming Iraq too in 1991 - we did too of course, but not once the war had started. Destroy Paris before it's too late. Strike first, that's what I say. Although how we'll know we've destroyed it will be very difficult as it's such a shit hole.

This is how ex-super powers roll when they've had their day. One morning you own a quarter of the globe, the next you can't even keep hold of an insignificant group of Islands in the freezing south Atlantic without a bunch of Latin weekend warriors nicking it off you while you toast your crumpets.

We better start the home guard up again, it'll be the Germans next. My neighbours will have to bring their uniforms out of moth balls. I'm going to start buying beans, I suggest you do the same.