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Heavens to Mergatroid everything is putting me on life tilt at the moment. I've just now switched on the news as you do fixing to find out what's going on in the world, but no...all I get is ginger parasite Colin Moynihan prattling on about how successful team GB were in the Olympics.

The youngsters and non-English amongst you may not be aware of what a complete c*nt face this man is. The worst kind of pathetic no-mark politician and almost certain nappyphiliac. This is the man who during Italia 90 when he was Sports Minister noticed a Union flag displayed in one of the stadiums with the word BOLLOCKS emblazoned across it.

Subsequently, instead of having a giggle as any normal human being would do, he contacted his equally weaselly Italian counterpart and consequently England flags with any writing on them at all were banned from the semi-final game against Germany - undoubtedly the reason we lost of penalties.

No doubt he was so pleased with his days work he then went off to meet Pamela Bordes for a spanking session while wearing a nappy and burying his head in her cleavage smothered with mushy Farley's Rusks. Absolute bastard of the most unmarried parentsish kind. Total cunt.

As for Gordon Brown and Tessa Jowel with her pathetic 2012 logo t-shirt which cost £350,000 to design and still looks like Lisa Simpson sucking Bart's cock - why don't they fuck off and let the team enjoy their moment?


What in the name of Jesus and his lengthy beard has our medal haul got to do with Gordon Brown? I bet he spent his morning selling off school sports fields. He does that you know. Bastard. But there he is with his horrible evil false smile displaying his veneered false teeth gaargh...someone thrust a javelin through that mans throat before it's too late that's what I always say. He should be in his office figuring out how to stop all the knife stabbing bastards in this country not mooching about Heathrow trying to snog Rebecca Adlington Cunts, total total cunts and cuntesses. Bastards.

Finally did they really have to bother painting the nose of the plane gold? I mean really people, we did well and all, but that's a bit OTT no? I heard they had to find a special paint cause you get told off by the health and safety dudes if you use metallic paint on an aeroplane. They could have just given that money to me so I could buy a snakeskin jacket and matching boots.