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No, because it's plainly obvious to anyone with even the brains of a P.E. teacher that what ever was thrashing through that woman's system this afternoon it was not Redbull or Lucozade.

One doesn't want to cast aspersions, but this woman was banned for a year for missing three drugs tests "accidentally" and now we're being asked to believe her success was fuelled only by a high carb diet and a will to win?

I've been unable to acquire the appropriate files to denounce Kelly Holmes' double Gold Medal winning effort last time out, there was a huge cover up to save the Queen any embarrassment, but I feel I won't need any evidence for today's shameful victory.

Even Christine herself looked guilty when she crossed the line. The muscle definition is the give away for me. Kelly and Christine Ohuruogu both look they're made from plastercine. And also the brace of testicles they've both grown. Unless she sneaks a fake cock into the testing booth with her like Maradona used to do, I fear her medal is a temporary award.

I'll say no more. I've said my piece I've marked your card. I'll bid you good day.