Witch Hazel

6/03/2009 06:56:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

Gordon's the captain of our ship, of our ship
Gordon's the captain of our ship, of our ship
and the ship is a tanker,
he's a fucking wanker
Gordon's the captain of our ship, of our ship

I do so love it when the careers of senior politicians go down the swanny. When it's a Prime Minister especially though it's pure theatre. Who didn't make the wanker sign at the TV back in 1990 when Margaret Thatcher wept as she left Downing Street? I know I did and ironically I bet Gordon Brown did too.

My favourite part of the death throes of politicians' careers is when Journalists stand on the pavement outside Number 10 and shout questions at them when they appear, questions they know damn well won't be answered; "Are you resigning? Have you lost all authority Prime Minister? Are you the worst Prime Minister in British political history? Are you wearing your wife's lingerie Prime Minister?"

Of course, all of this has no real relevance to politics as a whole in this country. Even if we had a General Election on Monday and David Cameron as our new PM on Tuesday, the three main parties share the same policies so the transition would be seamless for most of us. We'd still be a lost nation wondering what to do with ourselves post-superpowerhood. A rudderless tanker if you will, sunk by the big blue of the European Union, condemned to a watery grave by indecision and the greed of a generation of chinless inbreds.

Whomever shall take control they'll still waste their time setting up committees to figure out how to make Britain great again, meanwhile we'll descend deeper and deeper into international obscurity and ultimately end up being the butt of Belgian jokes and be famous for nothing more than the manufacture of funny cars with three wheels that run off the peels of Cornish apples.

But though, but, from a pure indulgence in schadenfreude, which we're all perfectly entitled too when it comes to MP's, it's all jolly good sport. Hazel Blears thinks she's really put one over on Gordon Brown, but what's she's actually done is really piss the people off who can do her the most harm and who she claims to represent.

Gordon Brown might have ruined her reputation, but the people of Salford and grass roots Labour Party members oop theeer, who let's face it are a good three to four billion years of evolution behind the rest of us, are quite capable of ruining her physically.

Perhaps she thought they'd welcome her back with open unnecessarily long arms. What she appears to have forgotten however is that she's cheated them out of their hard earned money and used their taxes to finance her over privileged life in Westminster.

If any of them hand opposable thumbs they'd be in the down position I'm afraid Hazel. I fully expect her to be locked in a big wicker man with some livestock and sacrificed as they're still doing to witches up there but as a warning to all future MP's of Salford and Swinton too.

"She's betrayed us han't she" -- A Salford man earlier today

I don't really care who replaces Gordon Brown, I just want him gone and then I want it all to begin again with the new guy. It will do too, because the priority of every MP is to just be a part of the Government, it's got nothing to do with improving the nation. So the circle of squabbles and scandals will begin again. I won't go on about a Dictator again, you know how I feel about that, but this nonsense will only end when we have that unhinged nutter in charge. It's the only way we can be great again. I've said my piece, I'll bid you good day.


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