Today's news and weather

6/10/2009 07:57:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

Swine Flu is such a pussy. I could take Swine Flu in a fight. It's only killed 130 people so far world wide, did you know that? Most of those casualties of this pathetic condition were about to die anyway of something else.

The meeeeja love words like Pandemic though don't they, which they can display in big red letters across a graphic of a silhouetted man choking to death. In reality though more people have died since this whole Swine Flu hysteria began from the mis-use of a biro.

Fortunately, apart from ridiculously over-cautious Americans like John Juanda, no one seems to give a toss here and are not being hooked on the lines our pointless meeja have dunked into our curious waters. Curious Waters, now there's a name for a European rock ballad...I think I'll email in to Scorpion as we speak.

What's caught my eye today in the news then if it's not Swine Flu? Well, I'm glad you asked. A bunch of Economists have decided that the recession is over. Part of a think-tank they were. They had a meeting, ate some sandwiches and drank some sparkling water, looked at some figures, told some sexists jokes and then concluded that we're in the clear.

Is that how it works? Is that how recessions end? Does someone just have to say it's over? I might try that with a load of other stuff. Later on after my tea I shall have a meeting with myself and declare that the life-time I have spent not shagging the weather girls off Sky News is now over.

As of tomorrow I shall be knee deep in Sky weather-girl fanny. I've looked at some figures and eaten some biscuits, I've looked at their figures and these are my conclusions. Awesome. I better have a bath...if you'll excuse me.



Post a Comment