I despair. I utterly utterly despair. I know I washed my hands with the world again last week, but something just caught my eye and I tried so very hard to look away but I just kept on reading, now I'm pissed off again.
Not satisfied with sending our armed forces to fight two pointless wars with less equipment than a cub scout troop take on a camping weekend, it appears the MoD are now about to Court Marshall a Gurkha just because he happened to do his job in a way that might have upset the enemy. Someone wake Joanna Lumley up cause this is just bullshit.
Until I read about this Gurkha I've always felt that Sgt. Barnes from Platoon was the most badass soldier of recent times. If you've seen the film you'll recall that the only thing that stopped Barnes from killing Charlie Sheen's character at the end in that monumental gun fight was when a Jet fighter screamed overhead and dropped napalm on his head and even that only stunned him for a few hours.
But back to our Gurkha friend. His unit were tasked with shooting some high ranking Taliban dude, but they also had to recover his body so they could prove they'd killed him.
So, they do indeed shoot the guy, but they come under such heavy fire that they can't drag his body back with them...so, using his initiative the Gurkha pulls out his kukri knife and cuts the man's head off so they can just take that back and identify him from that as he knows anecdotal evidence will not be sufficient. Job done as far as I'm concerned. Good thinking, thank you very much and fuck me I'm glad he's on our side surely?
Apparently though, and this is the thing that'll keep me awake tonight, he's been sent back to the UK to face a possible Court Martial because - desecrating a dead body in this way is...I can hardly bring myself to type the words....is offensive to Muslims!!
Offensive...so fucking what if it's offensive? What in the name of Christ in sandals has that got to do with anything? Those are their beliefs not ours. Do you want this man dead or don't you? Surely shooting him was quite offensive too, but that was OK? They find it offensive we're even in their country, but we're still there aren't we?
How in God's name are these people supposed to do their job if they have to fight according to a phone-book sized manual of bullshit rules and regulations...none of which are observed by the other side?
This Gurkha dude who isn't even English but has generously volunteered to fight our bullshit wars for us isn't allowed to remove some random dead punters head, meanwhile the Taliban - who don't wear uniforms - can shoot British soldiers and then just throw their weapons away, pick up a spade and claim to be farmers and there's nothing we can do about it. Then when they gets home they can have a cold glass of goats milk while and watch some poor woman being stoned to death because she showed a postage-stamp sized piece of skin to someone she wasn't related to.
I don't have enough space on this blog to list everything that offends me about Islam, but I very much doubt they'd stop doing any of them out of respect for my sensibilities. Now, I know the Ayatollah Ali Hoseyni Khamene reads my blog so I tell you what you smelly breathed, bearded goat fucker..I'll email in to the MoD and see if I can stop the Gurkha's from cutting the heads of your mates in Afghanistan if you admit that the sky fairy you worship is no more likely to exist than garden fairies and the Loch Ness Monster and the only real reason for your oppression of women is because you're gay and you're overcompensating. Deal?
Ayatollah Ali Hoseyni Khamene enjoying alap dance from one of his own sons yesterday
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