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It's been many years now since our police force were of any use to anyone in danger or in need of assistance, but this whole manhunt business in Northumberland is really quite pathetic all the same. It's not Bin Laden they're searching for after all.

They're all very impressive looking these armed police dudes with their big guns, police issue chewing gum and knee pads and I'm sure they can all shoot up paper targets with the best of them, but when it's a crazed Geordie they have to deal with who might actually shoot back, suddenly they don't seem quite so gung-ho.

Alarmingly it's clear that the police don't really have a clue what they're doing. The police can't solve a burglary these days yet they're expected to deal efficiently with massacres and potential massacres. Sadly, the good people of Rothbury and Whitehaven may has well have called the Avon Lady.

Just now a dude who appears to be in charge has announced in a press conference that he feels this Moat chap is hiding out in woodlands and in the very next sentence appeals to him to give himself up. How's he supposed to hear this appeal? Does Detective Chief Superintendent Neil Adamson think Moat has a flat screen TV in his tent?

Give yourself up!? Is he taking the piss? You know the police have run out of ideas when they resort to actually asking the bloke to hand himself in. He might as well have just said, "we don't really know what to do..is there any chance you could just sort of..you know..just give up like?" Have we tried this with the Taliban in Afghanistan, "Alright lads, call it a draw and let's go home?"

Of course the real reason all these hundreds of armed police are completely redundant is that there's a very real chance Health and Safety regulations explicitly prevent them from engaging anyone who might actually shoot back at them as this would put their lives in danger.

Like life guards at swimming pools who aren't actually allowed to dive into the pool if someone's drowning as it might put their life in danger too - they just have to sort of stand at the side of the pool making swimming gestures with their arms and waving one of those lasso type poles at the hapless drowning swimmer.

This is effectively what the police seem to be doing up in Northumberland. Not actually trying to find the dude and shoot him in his horrible red face, just sort of standing on the side lines making gestures and hoping he'll do the decent thing and either surrender or shoot himself.

It's also pissing me off that they continue to refer to him as Mr Moat. Why so polite? He's been shooting people, he's proved he's an horrible c*nt..you don't have to be so civil. Why not call him fucko and see what happens. That's what Harvey Keitel would do.

Sigh, Moat might not want to give up, but I do. It's time I washed my hands with the world again. As of now I'm only interested in watching spaghetti westerns and eating sammiches that have spicy sausage in them.

Sport now and I'm backing Spain to win on penalties this evening. I'd love to see a Dutch v Jormans final, but alas I fancy Spain to ruin what could potentially have been a classic and violent contest. There's always the chance the Spanish will sleep in and not be quite ready for the game, but ultimately I have to side with Paul the Octopus on this one.

Labels: Football, Nonsense