Happy "Independence Day"

7/04/2010 03:22:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

Happy Independence day everyone. Can it really only be 234 years since we finally managed to separate ourselves from our rebellious progeny? Our bastard son of a thousand maniacs. How time flies. Bless them to this day they still think they actually defeated us in that war..haha. They remind me of a small boy playing football in the park with his father who reels off in celebration after scoring a goal as his Dad lies prostrate on the ground feigning disappointment.

Over two centuries have past and they still haven't cottoned on to the fact that the whole damn shooting match was a ruse to make the separation on our part look reluctant. I'm laughing at their naivety as I type this.

Yes America, we really fought hard in that war, pheeeeweeee we really really did try our very hardest to win, cause of course back then when our Empire spanned a quarter of the globe we always sent a bunch of peasants and freelance lazy French and Spanish mercenary types to fight our wars for us.

It's in fact how we managed to build our Empire in the first place. Not sending in Professionally trained troops with stiff upper British lips and a Henry-Martin - no no - we sent in a bunch of Frenchy types who spent most of the afternoon eating onions or chasing after native girls shouting "Voulez-vous voir la malle de mon éléphant" ...do you want to see my Elephant's trunk.

Bless our ignorant progeny. Perhaps they know the truth and just refuse to accept it so they can still light up a load of fireworks every July 4th. I'll just let them get on with it. Telling them would be like telling a four year old that Father Christmas didn't exist.

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