Theo

3/08/2010 05:25:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /



I tell you what, people need to stop the criticism of young Theo if they don't want to find a stern email from me in their inbox. I've got fifteen supposed expert pundits on my list of people who I need to email in to if they don't back the fuck off young Theo.

Apparently he's failed to realise his potential. He's not the player we hoped he would be. He's not got a football brain and so on and so forth. What utter shite. That's the sort of thinking that has caused England to humiliate themselves in World Cups every four years since they luck-boxed their way to that win in 1966.

Theo is twenty fucking years old. He's only just stopped playing with lego for fucks sake. I could understand the criticism if he was in his thirties and had failed time after time after time to prove his worth - like for example, Emile fucking Heskey.

Emile Heskey is a legitimate phenomena. One can only assume he has an extensive library of lurid photography feature a succession of England's managers and coaches and has blackmailed his way to an International career spanning some ten years and 57 caps.

In this time he has scared seven goals. This by any standards is an appalling return. Seven fucking goals from a striker. Only Emile Heskey has ever been able to play so consistently badly and receive praise instead of ridicule.

"He's not really there to score goals though is he."

People actually say this. People actually say that Emaile Heskey who is a striker, is not in the team to score goals. Name me one other player that's ever been so excused an inability to perform the pre-requisite functions of his positions.

Arsenal's goalkeeper Manual Almunia is not good enough, this is clear. But he's the best we have. No one, not even the most partisan Gooner has ever defended Manual with the Heskey defence, "well, he's not really there to save shots is he."

Heskey is there to hold the ball up they say. That one function is worthy of nearly 60 caps is it? Nonsense. And anyway, he can't even do that. A striker is there to score goals. First and foremost. Whether he plays for England or not then depends on what else he can do. You don't pick strikers on the strength of how good they are at taking throw on's and just hope he can score goals too.

So while heskey is immune to criticism regardless of how terrible he performs, young Theo, who incidentally has scored three goals for England from nine games, is spat at with every misplaced pass. He's twenty fucking years old. He's only just stopped growing. If you don't want him to ever realise his potential then it's fine to carry on slating him every time he doesn't score four goals in a game. Otherwise, do try and exercise that qualifying attribute never applied to Heskey, perspective.

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