We're doomed

1/07/2010 02:04:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

So in real terms I'd say the three most pressing issues facing the UK Kingdom of England and Great England are probably; the recession, the war in Afghanistan and currently, the freakin' weather, possibly in that order too.

Who do we have in our Government charged with steering us clear of danger on these three fronts? Come on now, hands up who can name the three Government Ministers in whom we have entrusted our monies, our military, our ability to drive to the shops....our very lives?

Alistair Darling is obviously Chancellor. That one's easy peasy. No need to worry there, we've got an Economic whizz snowed in at Number 11. Phewwwy. And if he gets stuck with his sums he can pop next door and ask the man who caused all this shit what he should do.

We're how much in debt?: Alistair Darling remains calm yesterday


The next one's a bit more tricky. Who's the Defence Secretary now? Who have we got ensuring our boys are fully equipped, our weapons can be fired by the left-handed and our helicopters can be flown in hot weather? We've discussed him before on this blog. Think Trade Unionist. Think factory floor plodder.

"I only know how to lobby management for longer tea breaks": Bob Ainsworth struggling to remain calm yesterday


It's big bad Bob Ainsworth. Or Bob Jobsworth has he's affectionately known in the cabinet. Bit of a concern really this one. Bob appears to be a little out of his depth. Doesn't bode well for the war when the man in charge couldn't win cleaner toilet facilities for his workers at a Jaguar plant in Coventry let alone oversee the successful defeat of a people who have yet to be conquered in their entire history. I know kids, I'm scared too.


You may be two for two, but I bet you don't get the last one. Who's the Transport Minister? I didn't know until just now when he was on the news. This is no word of a lie, yesterday I was watching Prime Ministers Questions accidentally and I eye-balled a young man sat a few seats down from Gordon Brown looking totally out of place.

Who in the name of fuck is that I said to myself. He looked about 14, like his testicles had barely descended, possibly he was on a school trip. Maybe he'd won one of those competitions the kids have. But no...

Sadiq Khan: The frookin' Transport Minister yesterday


It was none other than the Transport Minister himself - Sadiq Khan!!? Whooooooo? This is the dude who is in charge of making sure we all get to work or to the sto' for crumpets; Making sure our transport network doesn't collapse and descend into chaos through this deepest and darkest and coldest winter. Sadiq Khan.

We're fucked aren't we. These three will see us all dead within weeks. This is where we're at now with politicians. The entire House of Commons is chock full of career politicians. Never been anywhere, never done anything significant, wear the right tie, say the right thing, David Cameron clone type destroy the nation politicians. They know nothing about nothing and being exposed to them is far more dangerous than being exposed to the elements in flimsy clothing and sandals will ever be.

Good luck everyone.

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