Voy Por Ustedes

My broadband connection will be disconnected tomorrow morning and although my phone line in the new place will be activated later tomorrow afternoon, my broadband connection will not be available for ten days according to the O2 people.

This seems silly to me. They explained why but I tuned out after the first few sentences so I don't understand the delay. It's a good job I have a cool iPhone or I'd feel completely cut off from the world. This is the consequence of existing almost entirely in a virtual world; when you have to return to the 'real' world naked and unvarnished, one feels vulnerable. I've had to spend this afternoon downloading roughly 3GB of porn and other cultural material to keep me company during my period of isolation.


I've just bought a rocking chair. Initially I'll sit in it and play my Ukulele, later in life I'll sit in it when I begin my descent into lunacy or deep eccentricity depending on how much money I have. I'll wear a gingham dress and my carer will try to feed me soup. Come on Rich, just one more spoonful she'll say.

Once I'm finished with this move I plan to celebrate with a delicious feast of several Subway sammiches. The new branch opens in Cartoon Town in early February. I can barely wait. Their meatball sammich is the nicest thing you can put in your mouth and that includes nipples.


Sport now and I found it ironic last night listening to a Bolton manager and various pundits complain about the rough treatment dealt out to Mark Davies by William Gallas. Over the years the football media have thoroughly enjoyed watching various Bolton teams roughing up Arsenal, but it takes just one tackle from Gallas for them all to call for his arrest and transportation to the colonies. Cesc Fabregas was subjected to worse than that just a few days ago in Bolton. In fact his life insurance policy doesn't even cover a fatality resulting from tackles from a Bolton player yet Owen Coyle has the nerve to cry about a single incident. I now hope Bolton are relegated and Burnley survive.

I have nothing else to report at this time. The blog will now take a temporary hiatus until I have access to the intrawebs again in my new place. Next time we speak I shall be wearing a pastel coloured cardigan and slip on shoes.