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Mark McGwire took steroids!! I tell you what this surprises me..cause I thought he went from being something like 180lbs as a wee rookie with the Oakland Atheltics back in the late 1980's to that 230lb ginger monster that broke the home run record of Roger Maris in 1998 when he was with the St Louis Cardinals aaaaaaall from just eating his porridge and drinking lots of milk.

He's just completed the standard round of contrite press conferences, where his tearful apologies are accompanied by pleas for forgiveness. Same sort of stuff we've seen from that athletics fella..what was her name,.. Marion Jones and also the tennis woman Andrea Agassi and many others I can't recall at this time and many more to come no doubt.

It's all rather tedious but also unnecessary in my opinion. I've never had a problem with steroid "abuse." I think it's crazy they don't let them use performance enhancing drugs. I'm convinced it's a bigger risk to their long term health by insisting they only drink Lucozade and eat 'nanas.

But anyway, apart from that, sports men and women should always strive to improve their performances; for crying out loud it's even the Olympic motto - Citius, Altius, Fortius - Swifter, higher, stronger and since there's a limit to what the human body can produce it makes perfect sense to stretch these boundaries with chemicals and then there's no boundaries 'cause the pharmaceuticals will always improve.

Also, as a bi-product the 'equality in sport' issue would no longer be an issue as all the women would eventually evolve into men ...we're already seeing examples of this transmogrification in Africa with the "Is he or isn't she" athlete who won a women's race despite struggling with a full erection for the last 200m.


But anyway yes, no, ...ex-steroid abusers don't worry about confessing (unless you've a book to sell), what I'd like to see is someone who was really shit...say any retired English athlete or tennis player call a press conference and give a similar teary eyed confession because they never wanted to win enough to pump themselves full of growth hormones.

Those are the bastards who really do require our forgiveness because they caused us immeasurable humiliation in the post-Empire era where we were already struggling to maintain our status as most awesome country on the planet.

Tim Henman for example, now there's a dude who's only contact with drugs came when he licked the sweat from the seat of Andre Agassi's shorts. I'd like to see him break down in a press conference...full of remorse for the humiliation he has brought upon his family, his country and his irritating inbred fans on Henman Hill.

Fucking hate him still. Unbelievably wet. He could barely manage a few fist pumps during a narrow victory in a second round match let alone summon up the desire to do what was necessary to actually win a tournament. If you really wanted it Tim you'd have pumped so much of that Anabolic shit into your system you'd have grown a second set of bollocks. First time in his life he'd have had two sets under his belt.

So what if it wasn't fair. We didn't lay claim to a quarter of the globe by playing fair. Was it fair to engage in war with natives armed with sticks when we had cannons and the Martini-Henry rifle??

"There's such a thin line between losing and winning." -- John R. Tunis. Quite right, usually a white and powdery one.

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Labels: Nonsense, Sport