My Johnson appears to be OK now, I've had several urinations without problem these last two days and not shed a single tear. Smashing news, I'll probably raise a glass to toast the good health of my winky, although I'm not quite ready for a hand shandy yet. One step at a time.
I have just taken delivery of some food also so I am in good spirits. I won't have to go outside for at least two weeks now, which coincides nicely with my moving date. January 20th they're saying.
It's in a Cul-de-sac my new home. Sort of like the one in Ever Decreasing Circles, only different. Different in that it's all bungalows, and my neighbours were all sporting short trousers at a time when Hitler was only mildly irritated by Jews.
So not at all like the one in Ever Decreasing Circles really, but I will be buying some cardigans and pastel coloured shirts all the same. I'm also changing my name to Paul by deed poll, which might confuse things as far as the Witney inc. Carterton Mob goes if we're ever fitted for monogrammed suits, but necessary I think you'll agree.
I'm looking forward to getting on well with all my new neighbours - bar one,..a fastidious dude who'll tut at me when I get home late and wonder why I never leave the house before 4pm.
Paul, Martin and Anne yesterdayIn the 1980's the authorities risked a Hillsborough type crush every single weekend at every club that attracted big crowds - now they can't put a game on in case someone falls over!? Fuck off. Whatever happened to people being responsible for their own safety? Worried you might slip over and hurt yourself ...don't go then or maybe wear something appropriate for the conditions?
I'm telling you people, if there's one thing that gets my dander up it's pictures on the telly box news of people not dressing appropriately for the conditions. Trying to make it to Sainsbury's in a pair of trainers or some other inappropriate footwear. Or some silly women trying to negotiate her 10 mile commute to work through two feet of snow in a Nissan Micra. This is the problem with living in a Nanny State, as soon as you try and eliminate risk from daily life everyone loses their common sense. Twats.
You expect everything to be done for you cause that's what you're used to. Some bloke said he can't go out with his daughter cause his path was slippery. Well fucking unslippery it then you lazy bastard, that's what I always say.
I remember walking to school in that 1981 winter they're all talking about. About a mile it was to my school. I walked, on my fucking own with a heavy satchel in about a foot of snow. When I got there it was closed. They'd announced it on the radio by we hadn't heard it. The weather was closing in with every second. My Mother had reported me missing with the authorities. Or she was going to, once the Archers had finished.
I eventually made it back home after two ascents of the Iron Bridge and a two mile round trip. Did I cry or complain to the council? Did I 'eck as like. I didn't even complain to Radio 4 for not interrupting their episode of the Archers with Primary School closure news. I simply had another bowl of Ready Brek and set about building an igloo.
The Iron Bridge yesterday: a different animal in the winterWe won't learn from this of course. It'll be the same next year. Despite the chaos no one will buy chains for their tyres, or start carrying blankets and a nice flask of soup whenever they venture out. Mother's will still listen to the Archers instead of local news. People don't even wear wellies any more. Makes you want to weep. Excuse me, I need a crumpet.
2 comments:
Judging by the pic of 'the Iron Bridge yesterday', you seem to have escaped the worst of snow in Carterton?
It all came down very quickly after that picture was taken.
Yesterday.
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