boomp3.com
I've decided to come and speak to you good people instead of watching pictures on Sky Sports of fans crying cause their teams have been relegated.
I'd like to take this opportunity though to tell Chelsea to bugger off for messing up my Arsenal/Everton/Chelsea treble. You had to do it didn't you?
You had to let a stinking poxy goal in in the last few seconds. Bastardos! Hopefully some good will come of it and that evil Israeli freak Avram Grant will receive the old heave ho and a Chelsea smile to boot as a thank you for fucking up what should have been a piss easy season for them.
It's nice to be able to forget about football for a while. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed the game. It's true I've never really been able to figure out why I bother with it.
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I've had four poos today. I'm all blocked and gassed up. I've had a lot of fudge this last few days and it can take its time working its way through me. I can't resist it though of course. Fudgey goodness.
I'm having to wipe my bottom with baby wipes though as it's getting a little raw down there I don't mind telling you. I blame the 2 ply paper I've got. I had to buy the cheap stuff didn't I? I had to save the extra 14p it would have cost me for some softer 4 ply luxury. Who's laughing now eh? It ain't me.
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What's all this talk of a cyclone in Burma? I get very suspicious when things like this occur. Like that tsunami a few years ago that obviously didn't really happen yet supposedly took out most of Asia. I looked on Google maps and it's all still there. Someone's lying.
Let's say though for the sake of argument that it did happen. Let's say there actually was a cyclone and it's flooded vast areas of Burma where they grow rice and it's devastated. Why can't we help them?
I get that we couldn't help those monks before cause it was a bit more gay in that we'd have had to fight the Government and probably the Chinese too and if we're gonna fight a billion chinese folks, let's make it over some more important that a gang of bald dudes.
But why can't we intervene on this occasion? Why do we need permission from the Burmese Government to help those rice growing folks out? What are they gonna do shoot all our aid planes down? Cant we just say sod off, we're helping these bare footed monk dudes and what are you gonna do about it?
Apparently it's becaue they're a sovereign nation and we're not allowed to do things like that. Same reason why we can't intervene in Zimbabwe. The rules are, we can invade a sovereign nation if it's to kill everyone and destroy everything, but NOT if it's to hand out bags of free M&M's, bottles of Evian and tooth brushes? Sigh! We're such silly billies.
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Have you had one of those chocolate bars that are like Cream Eggs, but in chocolate bar form? They're called "Twisted" or something. Very very bad idea. It's too much fondanty goodness. I felt quite dirty afterwards. Give them a go though, but make sure you're well stocked up on 4 ply first, I think you know what I'm trying to say. High five!