Voy Por Ustedes

I'm quite big on Poker After Dark. I like it. I'm up at this time of an evening most days and it usually offers up some good viewing. The lack of commentary is also a good thing as table talk can often be far more interesting.

With few exceptions the commentary on most poker shows is patronising and mildly irritating, but the game in progress at the moment on Poker After Dark desperately needs commentary or background shopping mall music or the death throes and agonising braying of a donkey's last moments.

With a line up of Antonio Esfandiari, Shaun Sheikhan, Mike Matusow, Phil Hellmuth, Phil Laak and Daniel Negreanu you had to expect table talk, banter and what not, but in reality all you got was noise. Lots of noise.

How Americans manage to talk so much and so loudly without ever actually saying anything is an astonishing phenomena. Phil Laak in particular excels at using 100 words when 3 would have sufficed.

The dynamic at this table is very similar to middle-aged couples, married for some time with children, on a rare evening out possibly at a wine bar. They make a lot of noise and they talk and laugh, but although they're talking to each other and laughing at each other, they're only really interacting with whom ever has the misfortune of walking past their table.

It's all a cliquey ruse to give off the impression that they're all having such a great time. A wince inducing attempt to make anyone not part of the clique feel that they're missing out. Anyone trying that hard to give the impression they're having the greatest of times is usually desperately miserable within.

Daniel Negreanu in this episode is the only one who betrays the masquerade. At times, the poor man looks like he'd rather be in a barrel on a lengthy sea voyage in the 17th century than at that table. Phil Hellmuth and Phil Laak on the other hand are in hogs heaven.

Phil Laak has the most irritating accent and his inability to keep still for five minutes reminds me of a four hour flight I once endured with an eight year sat next to me who evidently had been fed nothing but boost bars and strong coffee since birth.

I don't think I can manage the remaining episodes, but with Vegas only a few weeks away I feel I need to in order to acclimatise myself to that culture of making noise for the sake of making noise. The consequences on me could be disastrous.