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So on Toosday the primaries in Texas and Ohio ought to establish the boy Obama as the Democratic candidate for the Presidential elections in the US of States. It also should see Hillary Clinton's descent into neurotic paranoia and an attempt to top herself. Awesome.

Our media applauds Merca for finally getting around to possibly maybe electing themselves a female or a black dude as President, but it all seems rather patronising to me. To be fair, are we really in a position to judge the US of States for their lack or progress with equal opportunities politics? Are we people? Are we?

Westminster for example has only a smattering of ethnic minority members of parliament and a handful of token women MPs. We've never even gotten close to electing a party with a black leader cause none of the parties have ever had a black leader. Or a female leader for that matter. Don't get all Thatcher on me, she was no women. It's debatable she was even human.

The rest of Europe isn't faring too well either. Only the Jormans have eleceted a female head of state; Dr Angela Merkel and I suspect she was in the Thatcher mold too if you know what I mean...high five!

Spain, Italy, the Scandy nations; none of them have elected a sheila or an ethnic minority dude as leader. France have elected numerous Prime Ministers with girls names; René, Valéry, François and Émile, but alas, they were all dudes.

And other minority demographics aren't showing up in the stats either. For example, I don't think there's a country in the whole wide world to have elected a whoopsie. Or at least an outed whoopsie. I suspect most male politicians are enthusiastic closet gayers.

The Dutch were the only nation to come close, as it were...as you might expect. Pim Fortuyn, that right-wing bald left-footer was looking like winning the Dutch election until someone went and shot him facially.

That was a shame actually, he was an intelligent dude and one of the few ring-wingers who's arguments weren't laced with hysterical megalomania.

The stats for vegetarians and left-handed people are equally disappointing. So come on now people, let's cut Merca some slack. They've endured eight years of George W. Bush and I think they deserve a break.

I like Barack Obama, he's the second coolest guy to come out of Hawaii next to Magnum P.I. He's got a very Presidential sounding voice and most importantly Hillary Clinton is reduced to tears at the mere mention of his name. Awesome.