Nothing fantastic about this voyage

3/27/2008 11:56:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

Tissues at the ready I tuned into the Girls Guide to Sex tonight, but what confronted me was not a bunch of girl guides enjoying a particularly naughty camping weekend, it wasn't even hard-core porn thinly disguised as sex education. What I witnessed was an appalling series of internal camera shots that no non-medical individual should have to see. I've only recently come to terms with the fact that women have three holes, what I saw tonight via some sort of wi-fi bluetooth minge-cam will set me back emotionally for months.

Have you ever looked through the peep-hole of your front door and seen a bald man standing on your door step? When he leans forward to ring the bell again his distorted bald pate looks Mecon large and rather frightening - this is how I can best describe the 'head-on' internal shot of a mans pee-pee thrusting itself in and out of this poor woman's glistening sex piping.

How? How I asked myself out loud, how have they filmed this? How? How did they get this camera up there and how in God's name will they get it out again. Tongs? Surely not. Will she sort of squeeze it out like strippers do with ping pong balls? Is there not a danger it'll get stuck? And do we really need to witness an ejaculation from the inside to enhance our sex lives? How will this help couples maintain and nurture their bedroom intimacies? All it's done for me is made me not look forward to seeing my bald postman again.

Am I to understand the medical profession have really invented a wi-fi bluetooth vagina camera? While people are struggling with all sorts of health concerns, the medical profession are spending their time and money not developing cures, but building minge-cams? It's enough, as was this show, to make you weep.

Let's forgo how unnecessary and completely unerotic this show was, can someone please explain to me how this camera was fitted and removed? So far all I can think of was some sort of variation of Fantastic Voyage. I wouldn't sign up for that journey would you? I hear gynecologists have a hard enough time remaining aroused during intercourse, actually traveling to the deepest parts of the female wizard's sleeve and standing next to a jizz soaked cervix would surely ruin women for you forever?

So anyway..if anyone can explain this camera work, do please email in. Eleswise I won't sleep. Not that I'll sleep anyway after witnessing this fleshy horror show.

If you need a visual aid to further explain the logistical difficulties of what I'm talking about, have a look here, but I warn you, it's unpleasant.


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