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I've just bought a t-shirt. You don't have to tell me how cool it is cause I already know. People look at me funny when they become fully aware of my appetite for Spider-man merchandise.

I don't know why, it's perfectly reasonable for a grown man to sport such cool casual wear and have a bust of the webbed crusader burned into his flesh by a Maori tattooist.

Have you ever found yourself mooching about on an afternoon shrouded with an impending sense of doom and foreboding? I've been troubled by this very sensation today. I feel as if something bad has happened or is about to happen, but if the truth be told I have absolutely nothing to worry about at the moment.

In fact, I'm in such a good mood I didn't even wave my fist at the kid who throw a tennis ball at my car this afternoon. Weird no? Perhaps I've just had a nasty dream and it's embers are still glowing somewhere in what passes for my subconscious, oui? Or I've bonded with a symbiote like in Spider-man 3 and I'm about to go bandy? Oh, I hope it's that.

Anyway, what I really wanted to discuss this evening is my progress with Omaha. I've been learning you see and if the truth be told I'm making hard work of it. I have 17 days until the GUKPT £250 PLO freeze-out and quite frankly I'm not ready. I've been reading a book written (so it says on the cover) by Sammy Farha..they say he's one of the best, but his style on first appearance, unlike his jewellery, looks to be expensive.

Essentially he seems to advocate raising the fuck out of every pot and hoping everyone eventually folds, which is fair enough if you have several thousand dollars in the inside pocket of your fake Gucci single breasted jacket pocket, but not if you're surviving on a shoe string budget, or in my case a velcro strap budget. Did you ever make fun of the fat kid at school who had velcro straps on his Dunlop trainers cause his fat parents couldn't afford a decent pair of Nikes?

So, anyway...I've figured out that Aces can be expensive and wraps are good..which is nice cause those are my favourite kind of sandwich. I'm joking of course, I now understand the game inside out and can play every hand blind, but I'm gonna play up to my 'tourist in Vegas' table image before releasing the venom within my game and having everyones chips away. I plan to buy some shiny suits and a cool pair of Spider-man pajamas with my profits.

Aha-Ah-ahahahahahahaahahahahaha