Now then, it is entirely possible I have given this more thought than was actually necessary, but that's the kinda guy I am and I make no apologies for it. Mob member theGame has put together a variation of the 'ideal dinner guests' conundrum, the idea is put together THE home poker game; a fantasy poker game if you will, so this afternoon I have put together what I feel is the superlative home game.
Now then, as with dinner parties I've chosen a wide spectrum of personalities and seated them appropriately. I think it's important when entertaining, to seat people with mutual interests together, but as we're putting together a poker game and I am the host, it adds an extra element of intrigue as we also have to seat people strategically in order to give ones self the best chance of winning which, let's be honest, is the priority in any poker game.
As this is the ultimate home game I've gone a step further an appointed a dealer, tournament director, waitress and also, since such a field would surely arouse media interest, I've chosen a brace of commentators too. So with this in mind, I've chosen the following guests:
Seat 1: Osama Bin Laden,
Seat2: Larry David,
Seat 3: George W. Bush
Seat4: Roger Moore
Seat5: Me
Seat6: Jen Mason
Seat7: Basil Brush
Seat8: Doyle Brunson
Seat9: Chris Rock
seat10: Stephen Fry
Dealer: Muhammad Ali
Tournament Director: Arsene Wenger
Waitress: Scarlett Johansson
Commentators: Jesse May and Victoria Coren
It's a supreme line-up I think you'll agree. They often say that one should never discuss religion or politics at dinner parties, but fuck all that, we want to spice things up a little here and get as many people on tilt as possible, so of course Islamic fruit cake Osama Bin Laden will have the button on Christian fruit cake George W. Bush's big-blind with Jewish comedian Larry David on the small-blind.
I've seated myself two to the left of George W. Bush as I don't someone who can actually play poker on the button when I'm posting the big blind (I told you I'd given this more thought than was necessary). Roger Moore is to my right to cope with any diplomatic issues should they develop between George and Osama and also to teach me how to make a waitress moist just by ordering a Vodka Martini.
Continuing with the weaselly strategic seat placings, I've put the two professional poker players: Jen Mason and Doyle Brunson in the most vulnerable positions (oo-er) when I'm on the button; small-blind and Under-the-gun respectively, with Basil Brush on the steal-tastic big-blind.
The final two places are occupied by the remaining two of my favourite three comedians, (Larry David being the third) Chris Rock and Stephen Fry. Stephen Fry provides insurance against any conversational hiatus as he knows everything and Chris Rock completes the mix with some more controversial offerings.
Obviously you want a night like this to last so I've chosen Muhammad Ali to deal as his Parkinson's Disease ought to guarantee many mis-deals with the cards in those shaky hands of his flying all over the place.
But we also want the game to run smoothly and with such a diverse selection of players we need a tournament director with an air of authority who can cope with strong personalities diplomatically and tactfully but with a sense of humour and for my money only Arsene Wenger satisfies these criteria.
Our waitress for the evening will be Scarlett Johansson and our commentators will be the voice of poker Jesse May and the voice of many a mans filthiest wet dreams Victoria Coren.
I think you'll agree we have a mix of not too subtle but beautifully blended personalities here and some intriguing options should we have too much to drink and fancy trapping off with someone.
As with all home games the potential for chaos should simmer below the surface, before boiling over..however, as the object of the exercise here is to put together the game to end all games, our player dynamic has been blended, deliberately and fittingly, to offer the literal potential for Apocalypse.
boomp3.com
Now then, as with dinner parties I've chosen a wide spectrum of personalities and seated them appropriately. I think it's important when entertaining, to seat people with mutual interests together, but as we're putting together a poker game and I am the host, it adds an extra element of intrigue as we also have to seat people strategically in order to give ones self the best chance of winning which, let's be honest, is the priority in any poker game.
As this is the ultimate home game I've gone a step further an appointed a dealer, tournament director, waitress and also, since such a field would surely arouse media interest, I've chosen a brace of commentators too. So with this in mind, I've chosen the following guests:
Seat 1: Osama Bin Laden,
Seat2: Larry David,
Seat 3: George W. Bush
Seat4: Roger Moore
Seat5: Me
Seat6: Jen Mason
Seat7: Basil Brush
Seat8: Doyle Brunson
Seat9: Chris Rock
seat10: Stephen Fry
Dealer: Muhammad Ali
Tournament Director: Arsene Wenger
Waitress: Scarlett Johansson
Commentators: Jesse May and Victoria Coren
It's a supreme line-up I think you'll agree. They often say that one should never discuss religion or politics at dinner parties, but fuck all that, we want to spice things up a little here and get as many people on tilt as possible, so of course Islamic fruit cake Osama Bin Laden will have the button on Christian fruit cake George W. Bush's big-blind with Jewish comedian Larry David on the small-blind.
I've seated myself two to the left of George W. Bush as I don't someone who can actually play poker on the button when I'm posting the big blind (I told you I'd given this more thought than was necessary). Roger Moore is to my right to cope with any diplomatic issues should they develop between George and Osama and also to teach me how to make a waitress moist just by ordering a Vodka Martini.
Continuing with the weaselly strategic seat placings, I've put the two professional poker players: Jen Mason and Doyle Brunson in the most vulnerable positions (oo-er) when I'm on the button; small-blind and Under-the-gun respectively, with Basil Brush on the steal-tastic big-blind.
The final two places are occupied by the remaining two of my favourite three comedians, (Larry David being the third) Chris Rock and Stephen Fry. Stephen Fry provides insurance against any conversational hiatus as he knows everything and Chris Rock completes the mix with some more controversial offerings.
Obviously you want a night like this to last so I've chosen Muhammad Ali to deal as his Parkinson's Disease ought to guarantee many mis-deals with the cards in those shaky hands of his flying all over the place.
But we also want the game to run smoothly and with such a diverse selection of players we need a tournament director with an air of authority who can cope with strong personalities diplomatically and tactfully but with a sense of humour and for my money only Arsene Wenger satisfies these criteria.
Our waitress for the evening will be Scarlett Johansson and our commentators will be the voice of poker Jesse May and the voice of many a mans filthiest wet dreams Victoria Coren.
I think you'll agree we have a mix of not too subtle but beautifully blended personalities here and some intriguing options should we have too much to drink and fancy trapping off with someone.
As with all home games the potential for chaos should simmer below the surface, before boiling over..however, as the object of the exercise here is to put together the game to end all games, our player dynamic has been blended, deliberately and fittingly, to offer the literal potential for Apocalypse.
boomp3.com
2 comments:
Don't let George Dubya anyway near 'that' button!
Rich your a legend mate, and i love the vegas ticker (royalties to be sent to moi i hope....), thanks for taking interest in what surely is som ething for poker players everywhere to think about!...just a bit concerned that you've got two people on the table who have fists up their ass for a living :o)
Post a Comment