Caring for the elderly. Hmmm, tricky one this. Most people insist they would contribute financially towards long-term health care for the nations pensioners, but they're the same people who say they'd be happy to donate organs and have loads and loads of gay friends. No you wouldn't, and no you don't.Apparently there are now more pensioners than children in this country and the care these people receive is appalling really. Gosh darn it, these people fought for our freedom and the very least we can do is spare a few shillings to keep them warm in the winter and to pay for an Eastern European to clean up their poo and sick.
I've had a select group of my flying monkeys building a massive abacus the last few weeks and now it's completed we've been able to calculate that the way to fund better care for the old folks is to ban the production of sweetcorn.
Sweetcorn is essentially a redundant vegetable. I'm 33 and I still can't digest the stuff. Every time I go to the toilet after eating sweetcorn it's all still there in my poo. So why not divert the funds for growing this useless vegetable to pay for the nations useless vegetables?
Once again, everyone goes home a winner. I'm on fire today.
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