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I don't usually go in for charity work as I find the idea of emotionally blackmailing people out of their surplus income rather vulgar, but I will on this occasion cause it benefits me. This is about my CF clinic. Yes MINE. These are good people who work tirelessly to keep me alive. Can you imagine this godforsaken planet without me in it?? No, doesn't bear thinking about does it people.

So anyway, it looks like some of the staff are running some race or something and need sponsoring cause elsewise I could be dead within days. Seriously man, come on, you should see the facilities in this place. Fucking Alan Johnson. They're still using leeches for infections in the CF wards and we're lucky if we get a TV between us all...I had a wireless last time, but someone had it away when I was asleep. It's not fair man, all the cancer patients and heart disease dudes get DVD players and fridges and table dances. Lucky bastards.

Anyway, it looks like they want to raise £3,000, so if you were just about to give all your charity cash to the cancer people, send it here instead, the cancer dudes are doing fine,

On a slightly more serious note if you happen to want to know more about Cystic Fibrosis, then you're weird cause it's horrible - but the CF Trust Website has all the gory information you'll ever need - www.cftrust.org.uk

Incidentally, My approach to charity work has in no way been encouraged or influenced by Oxford Radcliffe Hospitals Charitable Funds ..these were all my own words.