So, I'm booked up. I'm going to Vegas in May. It's been ten years since I last went there and I only went cause the Italian creature I was shacking up with at the time in Arizona insisted I see the place. Little did I know she had a gambling addiction that made Paul Merson look like a £2 punter.
She sat herself down at the slots, I left her alone for twenty minutes to have a look around Caeser's Palace and when I returned, there she was...GONE!! I found her eventually staring into a Black Russian. Once he'd left I asked her what she was doing and why had her face gone so pale. She told me she'd lost $1,000 and we had to go home.
We'd only been there about two hours. Fortunately I was able to force her into prostitution and we stayed for the weekend and I was able to have a jolly old time meeting all sorts of people with new and interesting ideas on how to misbehave.
So, it's lesson learned. To be fair, it's not the sort of place you want to take a significant other, if you must indulge in that weekend away romance bollocks you can go to Paris can't you or Vienna or Niagra Falls. Vegas in my chauvinistic opinion is for chaps - assless leather chaps surrounding a backside you can bounce a coin off preferably. Women in Vegas should be dressed in PVC and be able to fire ping-pong balls out from between the lips they don't kiss with, that's what I always say.
I'm joking of course. This is strictly a poker playing odyssey. I just want to play in Binnions, and make a few quid in the cash games around the various casino's..I will not allow my previous inner tyrannical demons to lead me astray. I am pure I am good I am pure I am good I am pure I am goo.. let's go fucking mental let's go fucking mental arrghhh ...no no no no I am good I am pure.
Ahuhuh - thank you very much.
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