Saturday wagering

2/21/2009 11:16:00 am / The truth was spoken by Rich /

A Saturday without a sports wager is like a German family tree without a conspicuous Nazi war criminal rotting one of the branches that's what I always say, so with that in mind let's discuss my 'final solutions' from today's action.

With a typical lack of any real research I have settled upon the following:

Football: A standard £5 Yankee; Lincoln City who have won already beating Port Vale last night; Chelsea who I believe are value at odds against given that they now have a new man in charge and Martin O'Neil is almost certainly a paranoid schizophrenic and his "other side" is due to surface any day now; Swansea City who have a great home record and I think are playing Doncaster Belles today so should not have too many problems and finally Portsmouth - yes I did say Portsmouth. I don't recall why I picked them if I'm honest. I think I read somewhere that Rory Delap is out and obviously Stoke can't score without him almost throwing the ball in the net. Also, surely Portsmouth are due a win sometime? Straws, clutching, at.

Horseys: The last time I bet on a horse race, wife beating was still considered necessary domestic discipline, but I'm having a punt today on the Racing Post Chase.

I've heard nothing positive about the favourite 'Big Fella Thanks' except from Harry Findlay talking it up while he spilt chili sauce all over his front, so I'm having a tenner on Fleet Street at a horse-tastic price of 16.5 on Betfair.

I always like to capture the red properties when I play monopoly and that's all the justification I need for this bet. Oh, also this race is usually won by a horse who won last time out and has the stamina of Dawn French working her way through a tin of biscuits.

This should all return enough monies to finance some much larger wagers which in turn should then finance a very long stay in Vegas which is somewhere I really need to be at the moment. Or alternatively, allow me to bid for Michael Jackson's silver socks he wore in that Billy Jean video where he does his moon walk about ten years before he started the whole going mental thing. They're priced up at about $600 I think, which is certainly value.

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