I've got nothing against snooker you understand. As Alan Murray's Pub Landlord correctly pointed out, in 1940 snooker saved this country. All those lovely women in the RAF control rooms pushing squadrons around those big maps and all. God bless 'em. Salute snooker we should, but the players are a mess.
My research isn't fully completed as yet, but I feel I've collected enough data to conclude with a 4% margin of error that Snooker players are the unhealthiest collection of individuals in the developed world.
What about Darts players I hear you cry. Well, obviously the very fact that professional arrowsmiths are even capable of lifting themselves out of bed in the morning is boarding on the astonishing and how their hearts can heave their congealed gloopy blood through partially blocked arteries is nothing short of a medical phenomena, but I think it's fair to say these individuals were genetically doomed to physical destruction.Snooker players on the other hand appear to be relatively healthy genetically but so starved of sunlight and nutrition are they, they have become as close to vampiric as you'll get outside of Eastern European horror literature.
All that time spent in dark snooker halls during the day has denied them the essential vitamin D absorption one needs to sustain a healthy immune system and robust bone structure and a diet consisting of lager and crisps can only compound this deficiency.
All that time spent in dark snooker halls during the day has denied them the essential vitamin D absorption one needs to sustain a healthy immune system and robust bone structure and a diet consisting of lager and crisps can only compound this deficiency.
Consequently, these people all have horribly translucent skin and I suspect severe osteoporosis. Poor Jamie Cope was sizing up a tricky black just a few days ago and I swear I could see the audience through his face. Oooh those poor boys. Somebody please, get them a plate of fish and a gallon of milk before it's too late.
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