The most miserable Beano ever

6/09/2010 05:40:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

Couple of things struck me funny when I saw this photograph this afternoon. First of all David Beckham is in it. Why is he there? Does he get to go to all World Cups from now on even though he's effectively finished as a player? If so, why does he?

Beckham has managed to weave himself somehow into the very fabric of English football. English football and Beckham are now coupled together in some sort of symbiosis that surely can only end in tragedy. For like conjoined twins, for one to live, the other must die. I therefore hope Beckham lives forever.

The second thing I found intriguing here is that Jack Bauer is in the front passenger seat. I know safari's are dangerous and of course the England team need protection, but Jack Bauer? How much have they coughed out for the 24 hours he was put in charge of security? I bet it was millions. I thought there was a recession on. Bloody footballers. Different planet the lot of them.

Finally, look how utterly miserable they all look, with the exception of Frank Lampard who'd clearly been taking crafty swigs from a bottle of codeine cough syrup as the day progressed. This for me is one of the fundamental reasons why England have no chance of success at this World Cup, they simply don't seem like they really enjoy each others company.

They're at the World Cup surrounded by some of the most incredible landscapes on the planet if you just ignore the townships - yet they look like a bunch of teenagers on a day out in Margate with their parents who have been arguing all day. Do cheer up fellas.

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