Voy Por Ustedes

I've just finished watching the Superbowl. I thought it was rather entertaining (for an American sport). I don't know an awful lot about the game really, I used to follow it when I was a nipper, but these days I only watch it when the Redskins are on or the Cowboys cause they have the sluttiest cheerleaders.

I did want New York to win though as I used to live there and I did get caught up in the whole Boston New York rivalry at the time - it became a sort of surrogate hate filled sporting rivalry while I was detached from the North London derby - so it was splendid to see a New York team put the Patriots in their place.

I hope all those idiots in Boston who ridiculously claim to be Irish are all crying into their fake Guinness as we speak. I believe only Arsenal fans can tell you how it feels to go a whole season undefeated. Don't give me any of that Miami Dolphins horse shit, they only played about 14 games. Plus they play in pastel green, gayers.

Couple of things almost spoiled (spoilt?) the Superbowl for me though. I was disappointed Tom Petty didn't get his nipple out. I thought the half time act was obliged. Also I was rolling my eyes at the typical jingoistic military flavour added to the national anthem. Groan - America, listen to me; if you insist on dedicating every damned national anthem played at sporting events to your armed forces camped in other people's countries, you will never get the rest of the world to love you. And you can sport all the bald eagle star spangled banner tattoos you want, but I know what you really want is more hugs.

Remember, this game goes out to the entire TV watching globe. By having shots of your military in Iraq and Afghanistan when the anthem plays, you're essentially saying we our defined by our military "might." People don't like that, see? Plus, your military is shit anyway. Sending Marines to fight in the desert - it was never gonna work. Pound for pound the US Army is no more of a force than Belgiums and every country in Europe has rifled it's way through Belgium at some point in history on it's way to some where else.

What I'm trying to say is; if you want to celebrate all that's good with America why not have pictures of - erm - I don't know something laudable - Mickey Mouse or Vegas or something, I don't know, just not the Army. What about a nice picture of Ellen Degeneres - she's funny.

Things have got to change, you know what I'm saying? With this in mind, let's discuss the people who might bring about that change. All the remaining Dorito's and bottles of pop I didn't get through this evening will be saved for Super Toosday on er..Tuesday. Twenty four Mercan states go to the polls to elect the two candidates from the reds and blues who will run for President. And I will watch it too, I'll stay up all night. I do this kind of thing.

Smarmy Edwards has given up, mostly because he's a mincer, but I do believe it was ultimately because Obama will benefit. It was a funny time for John Edwards to pack up his pots and pans and head for home - a home that wouldn't vote for him - but I think he did it to help Obama. He hasn't endorsed anyone publicly, but word on the street is he's backed out now cause more than likelywise his votes on Super Toosday will now go to Barack, as the Edwards people are not friends with the Clinton people.

I fancy this to be more exciting than the Superbowl and perhaps if Obama can pull this off, the next Superbowl in 2009 will have a less aggressive theme to it's national anthem and American can slowly come to terms with the fact that it is not the envy of the world, it didn't invent everything and it's sports are gay. I'm having some toast now before bed, goodnight.

"God invented bread, God invented fire, but America invented toast." -- the Pilsbury Doughboy


America's attempt to feed Africa. "We are the world." While I'm on my high horse, it would be nice if you could send them all a few morsels before they get to the stage where their eyes are popping out and they're bellies are the size of basketballs, it's not like you haven't got enough to go around, that's what I always say.

This was twenty years ago - Michael Jackson was still black when they made this record, Africa still looks like it could use a good feed to me, who's sailing the boat you sent all the steaks on? Stevie Wonder?