Voy Por Ustedes

I bought myself a chicken premier today from McDonalds. Not quite as tasty as the fajita things they were offering recently, but nice enough. I had to wait a moment for it though so to pass the time I read the flyer in my little polythene bag they gave me, which I think I was supposed to use as a rubbish bag even though the food comes in a bag too. Anyway, I digress. It was a recruitment leaflet. “McDonalds needs people like you,” it said in big yellow letters. I looked around, but I was the only person in the car park.

Surely they didn’t mean me?? Didn’t they know who I was? First of all, I’m not Eastern European, secondly, I’m not prepared to work for £4 an hour, thirdly, I’m not actually prepared to work for any amount and finally, I’m not a physical monstrosity borne of an incomprehensibly disgusting sexual collision between a farmers daughter and a taxi driver. It must have been a wrong leaflet. Somewhere in West Oxfordshire a simple common chap is driving home with a Big Mac and fries and a leaflet recruiting the finest minds in the country for an indefinite period of teaching girl guides palates for £250 an hour.


Wundervolle Luftguitarre

The 2007 Air Guitar Championship’s have been won by German student, Oscar Wettenberg. His superb performance of Back in Black by AC/DC was an airtastic piece of Hanoverian beauty, but then the 19 year old took air-guitarring to another level by actually smashing up his air guitar on speakers and throwing it into the crowd who went wild and threw air punches at each other and air beer into the..erm, air.

Oscar then stomped off the stage arm raised giving the sign of the devil finger gesture to collect his first prize of an imaginary cheque for $5,000 and congratulations from a throng of imaginary friends.

Otto Van Bismarck, Kaiser Wilhelm and Adolf Hitler may be turning in their graves that German victories should be reduced to this, but I found it equally as magnificent as Bismarck’s empire building, Wilhelm’s lunacy and Hitler’s rallies at Nuremberg and all three of their moustaches put together.


Clothes Flowchart