Voy Por Ustedes

My arse I say. Apparently, since only the great pyramid at Giza remains of the original seven wonders of the ancient world, it's time we had a new compilation of magnificent feats of engineering and religious crap. I think this is a good idea. I don't however, think asking the general public to vote on it is equally as good an idea. Can the public not stick to Pop Idol and Big Brother and leave the cultural stuff to those who don't read Heat magazine?

The new Seven Wonders are: Chichén Itzá, Mexico; Christ the Redeemer, Brazil; The Great Wall, China; Machu Picchu, Peru; Petra, Jordan; The Roman Colloseum, Italy.

This new list is tripe. If you piled up all the horse shit from the Cheltenham Festival and heaped upon that, all the horse shit from the Royal Ascot meeting, you still wouldn't have anything comparable to the amount of horse shit contained in the block of text justifying those selections. Really, the only wonder involved is how those people who selected these things are allowed out without supervision.

So then, I shall be compiling a new list. Three lists actually. A list of seven natural wonders of the world and two lists of man made wonders; one ancient where those involved in building the things had only brute strength and possibly donkeys to help them and one where the use of heavy machinery, electricity and any other example of modern technology were available.

Thus; I won't have something like that piss poor giant statue of Christ, (which was built in the 1930's) on the same list as something which was built 5000 years ago, probably by a bunch of blokes in leather thongs lugging two tonne slabs of granite up a mountain. Anyone could have knocked up that statue. Once you have access to machinery and electricity anyone can knock up a great big statue of a fucking hippy. I could do it in my garden if I wanted to.

In fact, I won't be having any religious nonsense because, well...cause it's shite isn't it and it's the 21st century and I think it's fair to say by now, we have enough real world scientific evidence to prove that Jesus was just a hippy and not someone who could perform miracles and certainly not someone whose dad was an all omnipotent, omniscient sky fairy who lives in the clouds and can read all our minds and control everything and make 7-2 offsuit beat Aces and so on.

I have given myself seven days to compile my lists, seems like an appropriate amount of time, so check back on Saturday if you want to see real wonderment. I won't give anything away, but Blackpool Towers' people have been on the blower and they make a good case.