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I’ve recently been doing some research into the scandalous brainwashing and indoctrination of children into religious beliefs and political ideologies through children’s literature and television programmes.

Obviously C.S. Lewis was a ferocious sexual predator and religious fruitcake judging buy the thinly veiled filth in the Narnia series of books; The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe being the most appalling example.

During the wee small hours of this morning I also identified a blatant and overlooked championing of Stalinist Communism by the company Smallfilms, in the shape of the 1970’s classic kids programme; Bagpuss.

Bagpuss was the story of a shaggy old pink cloth cat, (or should I say Pinko!) owned by a little girl called Emily, who set a bunch of mice to work for what appeared to be no financial reward, patching together various items, which were not then be sold on for a profit.

I don’t know how Smallfilms managed to get away with these obvious and outrageous Communist propaganda films. Thirteen episodes were made in all! Thirteen coincidentally being the age at which historians agree Joseph Stalin started to develop into a real bastard.

Let’s look at some of the other characters in this tragicomedy. Professor Yaffle was the academic wood-pecker who clearly represents the Politburo. Gabriel the banjo playing toad and Madeleine who would sing songs while the mice were set to work. The mice dancing to their tune..much the same way peasants danced to the tune of the KGB.

Finally, Bagpuss himself; General Secretary of Emily’s Russia. A pink cat because that’s cute or because pink is the colour associated with communist sympathisers? Pinko was a phrase coined by Time Magazine in 1920s to refer to these commy som’bitches and was never more appropriate than in this case. And a cat because cats are cute or because C.A.T was MI5’s code name for Joseph Stalin? Possibly an acronym, meaning: Communist, Awesome Tash.

If further evidence were needed, let’s look at the “magic words” Emily would use to awaken Bagpuss:


Fairly innocent you may say as far as magic words go. That is of course until you take a quick look through Stalin’s poetry. This effort in particular:


It’s sickening. I think you’ll agree that our children; our BABIES are being systematically brainwashed IN OUR OWN FRONT ROOMS!! And you paid for it too people. Your television license is paying communists to destroy your own children from within. This stuff was all on the BBC (Britains Broadcasting Communism).

It’s got to stop, especially with that commy Jock in number 10 now. It’s time to fight fire with fire. The solution can be found in the form of another Joseph: Joseph McCarthy. Fair do's, he was by all accounts a mad man, an alcoholic and possibly a whoopsie, but boy did he know how to root out a red. If we don't act now it'll only be a matter of time before our children are writing poetry, singing songs and mending peoples broken crap for no financial reward. And no decent capitalist parents wants that now do they. Remember kids, every time you do something for nothing, you move Great Britain closer to Moscow; that's what I always say.