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So I think it's about time we gave young Natalie Imbruglia a round of applause. As Antipodean fillies go, there's no one I'd rather take over the jumps than Miss Imbruglia. Granted, Kylie Minogue is not someone you'd ignore at a barbecue if the opportunity to chivvy her into the shrubbery arose, but with the greatest respect to Ms Minogue, I always felt there was something a little unadventurous about her.

When I say she's unadventurous, I'm not talking about an aversion to the kind of sexual deviancy you'll only find in the memoirs of a Conservative member of Parliament, I'm talking about sort of entry level perversion we all like to indulge in once in a while after a good dose of the randy settles in.

Rumour round the campfire is, "I should be so lucky" was written by a man who shimmied his way towards Kylie wearing a set of chocolate testicle hand-cuffs. See what I'm saying? What's wrong with that? I know Aussies are sensitive about their nefarious ancestry, but where's her sense of humour?

Natalie on the other hand has the potential for a much wider spectrum of indecency. A Chinese dude from ages ago once said, "blondes are the sun at midday and brunettes the sun at midnight" and in my neck of the woods the most fun is always to be had after dark.