Murder by accent

3/29/2007 10:04:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

The world has become a very unsafe place and I think it's about time we updated the chart for which country has the most sinister sounding accents. Usually it's Germany at number one, but this time around we have a new leader.

1. South Africa
2. Germany
3. Korea
4. Russia
5. Northern Ireland

I think this clearly illustrates a link between accent and a nations ability to carry out acts of unimaginable human cruelty. This correlation also exists with regional accents. In England for example, despite an English accent being synomous with integrity and decency, any miscreation can be predicted by identifying with the potential do-badders accent. Therefore anyone with the following regional accents in England are potential criminals.

1. Scouse
2. Brummie
3. Geordie
4. Cockney
5. Mancunian

Any Scouser is capable of criminal activity of course, but only someone from say Toxteth might be capable of murder. So once again these accents can be broken down even further to predict the level and severity of criminal activity in an individual. The tiny variations in a regional accent should allow you to determine which part of the city the evil bastard resides, giving you valuable seconds in which to ensure your safety. Try it for your country and city, it's hours of fun for the whole family.


Comment by Jayne on 30 March 2007 at 04:49

Perosonally I'd have put Brummie, Cockney and Geordie last.

Brummie's sound a bit thick and unable of acts of violence.. in using your spelling of alrooooit, I will demonstrate: "Alrooooit, I'm just going to kill yow" I'd laugh and not feel scared thus rendering the attacker useless.

The same with cockney really: "'Allo me old cocker, faancy a beatin'?" Again, it sounds like a friendly quip.

When did Ant N' Dec ever hurt anyone? Apart from that game show thing last year.

However, a big hairy Manc is far worse because you can't really hear any actual words, so anything could happen.

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