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I won't lie to you, I've been shitting garden peas by the dozen this morning.

That's never happened to me before; sweetcorn yes, but never peas. But anyway, that's not, you'll be pleased to know, what I'd like to discuss at this time.

It looks to me like they're fixing to take down the Iron Bridge in Carterton very soon. This saddens me. It has certain nostalgic value to me does that rusting structure. Every morning from the ages of about 5 to 10 I would walk over that bridge to my primary school.

These were the days when it was safe for children to wander about on their own. I've had occasion to hark back to those bygone days often in recent times, every time they announce on the news a new dude has been stabbed somewhere or a wee one has been abducted and what not.

This poor bridge corroding and disappearing is almost a physical manifestation of these heinous contempory times. I can only hope that some well meaning dozy yank has bought it like that silly bugger who bought London Bridge and shipped it brick by brick to Lake Havasu in Arizona thinking he'd bought Tower Bridge, and will maintain it somewhere forever more. I fear my memories of a more innocent time however will now be lost forever. Let us take a moment now to reflect. Please bow your heads.


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