Blair declares MRSA no longer an issue in undisclosed location

2/09/2007 05:31:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION FEB 9 - Prime Minister Tony Blair declared triumphantly and with a typical shit eating grin, the MRSA 'superbug' was no longer a problem in an undisclosed NHS location early this afternoon, about 2-ish.

Reforms in hygiene and cazillions of pounds of investment in the NHS have seen off the infection, beamed the Prime Minister, who also took the opportunity to accuse Conservative leader David Cameron of being a nancy boy for no apparent reason.

Tony Blair also announced that the hospital, as well as seeing off the MRSA bug, also made an enormous profit in the last financial year and will now reinvest the money in a supplementary project which will further benefit a many number of people throughout the country over the coming decade, which we took to mean a new swimming pool for his £5million house.

It was then put to the Prime Minister in a brief question and no answer session, that the reason MRSA was no longer an 'issue' in the hospital was because actually, all the patients were now dead...and this in turn has lead to the hospital moving into the black as there was now no need for any medication, catering or staff (apart from a single cleaner, who may or may not be a ghost).

The Prime Minister responded by pointing at a window and shouting "Ooooh look a flying pig" and with the heads of the journalists turned then pelted down the hallway cackling manically shouting "suckers!!".

An undisclosed location early today, about 2-ish


Comment by Nicola on 10 February 2007 at 00:10

Hahaha,that made me laugh so much.It kinda looked like you were secretly filming for watchdog.I can never get a bed at my hospital,but it seems as though there are plenty at yours.I may make my way down to your hospital next time.

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