One or two things we need to discuss this afternoon if you'll indulge me. I offer fair warning though, today's issues have the potential to cause an hysterical incoherent haranguing from me and so you may need a hot drink if you're to stay the course.
Let's get the incidental stuff out the way first. Unfortunately I will not have access to any of Mensa's nerd orgies. I received this news today with a sense of relief so don't feel bad for me. My scores were, 136 on the Cattel B scale whatever the hell that is, and 126 on the Cattel Fair scale, whatever the hell that is. In order to qualify for the opportunity to insert a string of abacus beads up my anus at one of their gatherings, I would have needed scores of 148 and 132 respectively. Oh well, it was the mug I really wanted.* * *
Moving on now, I dreamt I was involved in football violence earlier this afternoon. It was a West Ham v Chelsea game so I'm not sure what I was doing there, but while the friend I was with was pummelling someone soundly, I heard a shout a "GOONER!" and suddenly everyone was looking at me and the Arsenal scarf that had appeared around my neck. At this point we were no longer on the terraces though, we were pitch side but stood by a table where tea and coffee had been provided, it was a football match come seminar it seems.
Someone pushed me over an advertising barrier and my coffee went all over me. Just as blind panic was about to set in I had the speed of thought to realise in my dream, that I was in my dream, ...in your face Mensa; lucid dreaming I think they call that, it's only the very gifted who are capable of this, so anyway...since I was able to recognise I was in fact dreaming, my inherent cowardice was replaced with raw aggression and I fancied my chances against, well, all of them.
Just as I was about to hand about 100 West Ham and Chelsea fans the good news, a fat hairy man bear hugged me from behind and lifted me two feet in the air and shouted, "I faaarking 'ate Gooners you mugs." It was blind panic again at this point, but fortunately back in reality I needed a piss and woke up. I can still smell the coffee on the mans breath.
* * *
Now then. I'm hearing that Ireland will be given the "opportunity" to hold another referendum on the EU Constitution/Lisbon Treaty, because they didn't quite get the answer right last time around. This has irked me. The terms of this fucking cock sucking treaty/constitution mess were that it had to be ratified by ALL member states. Every single one of them. Three have now said no: France, the Netherlands and Ireland. But still it hangs off our backs like a monkey.
The USSR didn't collapse, it just moved next door. Go West young man, go west. We're a communist totalitarian union now and you can call me Winston if it isn't so. We're all nationalising our banks, anyone making over 4 or 5 times the average wage has to pay it all back in taxes, we've got a Prime Minister that wasn't even elected and this constitution will be ratified whether we like it or not. Karl Marx must be pissing himself.
Why are they even pretending this is a democratic union with a democratic process? That's really the only difference between the EU and the CCCP; at least the Soviets made no bones about who was in charge. At least the Soviet people had time to bite on a book before their democratic rights were dry raped like that poor kid in the green house in Scum.
Ireland will be bribed to get this through. Essentially most of the terms of the treaty won't apply to them. What the fuck!? What's the point of a Constitution designed to improve the efficiency of the Union - whatever the hell that means - if all signatory states have their own terms and conditions anyway? Well, they will apply, they'll just be given the impression that they won't.
What pisses me off a lot about this is it makes me sound like a howling Daily Mail correspondent with only one eye brow and eyes too close together, but I can't halp it. This is shit. The EU might not be rolling tanks into Dublin like the Russians used to do, but they are pointing out to Ireland how the millions of Euro's they receive from the EU every year might be sorely missed if they refuse to play ball. There's not an awful lot of difference between pointing tanks at a people and threatening them with abject poverty.
Now the Euro is worth about the same as the pound we can expect to see us forced into ditching the pound with Gordon Brown blaming the recession for our concession. Ireland will be encouraged to toe the line and before we know it we're all driving on the right and our women are winning gold medals in the shot-put at the Olympics. Fucks sake. I've been saying for years we should have let the United States annex us. We could have jumped the queue when Peurto Rico wasn't looking, now they've got a cool guy in charge we've missed the boat. Cunt it...we're so shit. Can we at least get a cooler national anthem?
The USSR didn't collapse, it just moved next door. Go West young man, go west. We're a communist totalitarian union now and you can call me Winston if it isn't so. We're all nationalising our banks, anyone making over 4 or 5 times the average wage has to pay it all back in taxes, we've got a Prime Minister that wasn't even elected and this constitution will be ratified whether we like it or not. Karl Marx must be pissing himself.
Why are they even pretending this is a democratic union with a democratic process? That's really the only difference between the EU and the CCCP; at least the Soviets made no bones about who was in charge. At least the Soviet people had time to bite on a book before their democratic rights were dry raped like that poor kid in the green house in Scum.
Ireland will be bribed to get this through. Essentially most of the terms of the treaty won't apply to them. What the fuck!? What's the point of a Constitution designed to improve the efficiency of the Union - whatever the hell that means - if all signatory states have their own terms and conditions anyway? Well, they will apply, they'll just be given the impression that they won't.
What pisses me off a lot about this is it makes me sound like a howling Daily Mail correspondent with only one eye brow and eyes too close together, but I can't halp it. This is shit. The EU might not be rolling tanks into Dublin like the Russians used to do, but they are pointing out to Ireland how the millions of Euro's they receive from the EU every year might be sorely missed if they refuse to play ball. There's not an awful lot of difference between pointing tanks at a people and threatening them with abject poverty.
Now the Euro is worth about the same as the pound we can expect to see us forced into ditching the pound with Gordon Brown blaming the recession for our concession. Ireland will be encouraged to toe the line and before we know it we're all driving on the right and our women are winning gold medals in the shot-put at the Olympics. Fucks sake. I've been saying for years we should have let the United States annex us. We could have jumped the queue when Peurto Rico wasn't looking, now they've got a cool guy in charge we've missed the boat. Cunt it...we're so shit. Can we at least get a cooler national anthem?
"It is enough that the people
know there was an election.
The people who cast the
votes decide nothing.
The people who count
the votes decide everything." -- Joseph Stalin
know there was an election.
The people who cast the
votes decide nothing.
The people who count
the votes decide everything." -- Joseph Stalin
***
Finally, I might get a Christmas tree. I'm obviously ignoring Christmas, but the trees are pretty aren't they, all twinkly and what not. I could get one anytime of the year really if they were for sale. I've always felt fireworks ought to be enjoy all year round too except the really loud ones cause dogs don't like them do they.I probably won't get a tree as we're way past the time of December when I'm prepared to go into a shop that might sell them. I don't have the strength to withstand the buffeting I'd receive from the extraordinarily wide hips of the modern day housewife. I could get one online though I suppose. A little one maybe. Possibly. No, fuck it, it doesn't matter. Ignore this.
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