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I thought I'd give those Potato Dippers a try at McDonalds this day. Never again. In fact I'm boycotting McDonalds now cause they tried to cheat me. The bottom half of the box of "Dippers" was just regular fries! Yes, you heard me correctly, cheeky bastards. I think they only gave me about ten proper Potato Dippers, the rest was just their regular pencil thin fries and boy am I mad and still hungry.

I'd have been better off with a box of McCain's micro-chips, and I mean the box too cause they taste better than those chips. Micro-Chips are potato snacks' lowest common denominator, I think we can all agree on that.

They're a good metaphor for their namesake John McCain's supporters too. It's the last of the three Presidential debates tonight and lord ha' mercy I want this thing to be over. The CNN's of this world may be selling this election as a close race, but it isn't.

They have ratings to consider, no one will watch gayest Anderson Cooper with a string of sex balls up his poo-shoot talking about an election that was over as a contest three months ago, but make no mistake about it dudes, we're deep into landslide country now and I just want John McCain to slip away into a deep public and political life coma, if not an actual coma and for Sarah Palin to be unmasked finally Scooby-Doo stylee as French right-wing nutjob Jean-Marie Le Pen.

When you're really really suffering from the hungries on an evening, but you haven't been shopping for ages and the cupboards are bare, you have to force yourself to eat whatever you can find in the back of the shelves and covered in an inch think layer of frost in the bottom compartments of your freezer.

Most often it's either a Chicken and Mushroom Pot Noodle and a brown lemon or a box of McCain's Micro-Chips. This is essentially the state of the McCain campaign as we speak. Everyone even remotely decent and capable of independent thought on the Republican side has either gone on holiday for a month somewhere nice or have declared their support for Barack Obama - even Colin Powell is about to endorse Obama.

This mass Palin induced exodus has left McCain with no option but to appeal to the most Neanderthal, bigoted, ignorant and toothless demographic - America's pot noodles, brown lemons and Micro-Chips - to try and prevent his campaign from starving to death. While a student might be able to survive on this mess, the globe's beacon of democracy cannot and I look forward to witnessing its final death throes via an incredibly painful internal collapse.


Almost as pathetic as John McCain, but not quite, is France's declaration that all friendly international football matches will now be forfeited if the French national anthem is booed. This in response to the treatment the La Marseillaise received from the Tunisian crowd on Toosday.

Now I can just about countenance their bat-out-of-hell manoeuvre when the Nazi's invaded, but to do a runner cause the away team boo and hiss at your national anthem seems petulant and craven even for the French, especially when the team you're playing is an ex-colony.

How do you expect them to behave? Generally speaking countries don't like being colonised and they bare grudges. I'm British, I know whereof I speak. You have to man up a bit and expect a bit of resentment at the football matches.

If the crowd were burning the Tricolor and filling pan-au-chocolat with shit and lobbing it at the players, then you have a case for not playing, but if everyone started sulking and refusing to play because of booing there'd be no sport at all. There'd be no pantomimes either, so come on now France, if you won't do it for the sport, do it for the kids.