Arnies files no more detailed than Bush's

1/08/2007 05:49:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

I was watching Terminator II last night while having a Turkey dinner for one that comes in a little tray and has compartments for each part of the meal. Ironic I should choose such a meal really as I actually blame the TV dinner for the end of the world. I think the TV dinner was the first inkling corporations had that they could get us to do anything they wanted. Anyhoo, that's a rambling diatribe for another time.

It struck me while watching Terminator II that the film really only needed to be 10 minutes long rather than the two hours. Now, Arnie is the good Terminator in this one for those of you who have not seen the film, sent back in time to protect wee little John Connor from a nasty new Terminator made of liquid metal. Arnie is supposed to have an amazingly sophisticated computer brain wot can calculate anything and has detailed files on all things from how to wheel spin a Harley to how to go about destroying a planet. He's constantly banging on about having detailed files about pretty much everything.

However, unfortunately, he's not able to access the files in his memory that would tell him that firing bullets at sommat wots made of liquid metal is not gonna do a whole load of anything. Where's his chemistry files that tell him in no uncertain terms that all you have to do is melt the dude with molten metal or freeze the fucker?

DON'T, it would tell him, get it to chase you half way round Los Angeles while you fire off 40 million rounds and kill off half the law enforcement personal, it won't do any good. It'll just become all blobby and be ok again.

Detailed files? Detailed files my hairy harris. What a load of shit. Even that dumb kid should have been able to grasp after the third of fourth gun battle with this thing that bullets don't seem to be having too much of an effect and blasting it to high heaven may not be the correct strategy.

All they had to do in effect was sit down over a TV dinner and say, Arnie, is there anything in your detailed files that might offer us a new way of approaching this challenge? How about some lateral thinking here? Then the penny would have dropped and the problem would have been solved within minuutes.

Hmm, gun battles, a lack of ability to develop new strategy, the mass slaughter of protectional personel? This film has become a perfect metaphor for George Bush, Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheneys crusades in Iraq. George Bush is effectivly a robot programmed by other people. Of course, it's no coincidence that Arnold Schwazzengger is Republican. What happens to these people at Republican school that takes away their ability to re-think a problem when it's clearly not working? If George Bush was the Terminatoir he'd have done exactly the same thing. Blasting away at the liquid metal Terminator in the hope that eventually he would prevail and justice would be served and the future of his great nation and the security of the wider world would be

Im pretty sure Terminator II must be one of George W Bush's favourite movies, and I know he hasn't got detailed files on anything, but surely he can take a hint from this film? Surely he can see that a new strategy in Iraq might ....well surely A strategy in Iraq might be the way forward. On the other hand he probably just sits there with Barney wolfing down pretzels without properly chewing them and shouting things like MORE TROOPS!!, send in more troops and blow that liquid sumbitch back to future land yeeeeeehaaaaaaaaa!!


More troops Barney, that's what I say


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