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Hate is a strong word. There are a handful of words I do my best to use sparingly, either because of their extreme connotations or because I’m not really sure what they mean and I don’t want to make a prat of myself by using them out of context. I’ll use them, I mean, as part of my extensive vocabulary, they have their place, but the moment has to be right. C@nt is an example of such a word. Hate is another. Indecorous is a third example.

In Daniel Negreanu’s case, hate is entirely justified, hate and c@nt actually. The seeds of my contempt for the man began to grow because of his hair, which was obviously receding and combing it forward in a ridiculous attempt to fool people into thinking he had a full head of hair was just insulting. That sort of hair-subterfuge just says, I think you people are idiots, and I can fool you. I’d like to see someone kick his teeth in just for that.

A further source of resentment for me is his diet; he’s a Vegan. Another reason why he should have his teeth kicked in. All vegetarians should have their teeth kicked out since they only eat lettuce. There are plenty of hockey players, pikeys, old people and tramps who are in need of the teeth vegetarians aren’t use. The fact that he gets his mammy to bring him his lunch when he’s playing is just pathetic. Grow up for fucks sake, you’re not nine.

Thirdly, he’s Canadian. Canadians are freaks. They’re sitting up there all cold and crime-less. I don’t trust any community that has no crime. Canada is like those worlds in Sci-Fi movies where everyone lives in perfect harmony, but it’s a creepy uneasy harmony. Everyone might be smiling, but their eyes betray them. There’s something deeply suspicious about the whole country. They also add the suffix, “eh” to every sentence as if they’re never sure about anything and need confirmation from a more intelligent mind. When someone acts weak, they're usually strong.

I’ve often felt that the Chinese were aliens and they were fixing to attack any time now, but an attempt at world domination is just as likely to come from Canada. Sun Tze’s maxim, adopted by poker players the world over, states one should act strong when weak and weak when strong; China has been involving itself in wars for centuries. Canada on the other hand just sits there as innocent as grandma, but a grandma with a gun under her frock I’ll wager.

Not that I’d be too concerned if a legion of Negreanues invaded, but not every Canadian is as weedy and pathetic looking and bald as him. See the NHL for examples of the toothless menace you don’t want to see scaling the white cliffs of Dover with heavy machine guns and shouting “charge eh.”