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Taking anything George W. Bush has to say seriously has always been a challenge, but his talks with the Afghanistan President are taking the piss. The whole conference is one big double entendre.

The US president is called Bush, his Vice-President is called Dick and the Afghan President is called Kharzi. Well, Karzhai really, but if you say it in a posh accent it's still sounds like cockney rhyming slang for a toilet.

Even if their names weren't so school boyishly comical, the shite they're coming out with is impossible not to giggle away at. It's either giggle and hope they're not serious or not sleep at night.

Apparently, the Taleban are a defeated people. Cowards; no more harm can come from them, says President Shitter. "They're now reduced only to killing children on the way to school."

Oh, sorted then. If it's only the kids getting slaughtered at break time then we're quids in. All our soldiers who have been shot out there and had their guts dug out with spades (probably) and all the billions spent on this war and the fact that it has rejuvenated the heroine industry the Taleban had all but shut down, is fine, as long as it's only the wee kiddies that are being beheaded. Marvelous. Yay us, that's progress that is.

Or, back in the sane world, perhaps not. If a serial killer in this country had resorted to murdering school kids instead of say, taxi drivers, one could hardly begin to refer to him as a spent force. One may even suggest that he presents a more considerable threat.

In relation to the South Korean hostages held by the Taleban, Bush and Karzai agreed that compromise was not on the menu. "There's nothing on our menu except fried chicken and corny dogs," said Bush. No, he didn't say that really, but they did say that negotiations would produce no "quid pro quo" over the captives. He didn't know what that meant, but he said it anyway.

So good luck to those guys, who probably have names like Wan King and Fuk Mi. Serves them right really. I hate the arrogance of Christian groups who think they can troop about in the most dangerous and violent parts of the globe and expect exaggerated levels of respect because they're doing Gods work. Some one really should have told them, the last place you want to do Gods work, if your Gods name is Yaweh, is amongst the Taleban. You might as well send a bunch of Jewish Cub Scouts to Hitlers house for bob-a-job week.