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People people, what a palaver. My bone of contention with this whole episode has not been his opinions - I'm not likely to respect the opinions of a grown man who still believes in a sky fairy, whatever they be - my objection is that his opinions are respected and even sought in the first place (look at the state of the man).

Rowan Williams expressed his opinions in an interview with the BBC and at the Royal Courts of Justice. Why? What the fuck has it got to do with him? The issue here is wider than the Islamic community having their own legal processes, which wasn't what the boy Williams was suggesting anyway, the issue here is why religious 'clerics' are afforded such exaggerated levels of respect that their opinions are sought on matters which have very little or nothing to do with their faith.

What does a Bishop know about settling legal disputes? What does a Bishop know about Abortion? Iraq? Binge drinking? Teenage pregnancy? The answer is no more than the next man whose profession is not directly concerned with these areas. Therefore in reality, his opinions are no more valid than my window cleaner's or mine for that matter, but I wasn't asked for my opinion and I'm unlikely to be given the opportunity to voice them anywhere else but here, but an Archbishop will often find himself on a panel somewhere debating these issues and his opinions will be respected.


The general public's hysterics over this issue are not objections to religious ring-fencing, which they should be, they're born out of a distrust and hatred of Islam. Instead of focusing specifically on this one issue with the Daily Mail as the eye of their rage, they really ought to be considering why they allow religion and religious people as a whole to be considered separately from any other demographic in any area of daily life.

You can't soil yourself with rage at the thought of the Muslim community's immunity from due process on the basis that there are no legitimate grounds for their exemption, without pointing out the Archbishop of Canterbury who recommended the idea, has no qualifications from which to base his recommendations and ought not to have been given the platform to voice them. That's what I always say.

What Christian fruitcakes and Theologians refuse to accept of course, is that the Gospels were written approximately 120 years after the fact. In reality Lazarus probably just had a cold and felt much better four days later.

Similarly, Peter, who apparently denied Jesus three times and was martyred - crucified upside down by Nero – probably never even knew Jesus and just happened to be on the piss in Rome and got himself arrested and nailed up for singing Jesus songs. We've all seen how Man United fans are treated in Rome.

The accumulative effect however, of what were essentially over a century of Chinese Whispers, morphed these completely incidental events into miracles and parables of the life of the Son of God! What I’m about to recount here though, are no Chinese Whispers my friends. This happened. I was there. Proper miracles. Gospel truth:


boomp3.com
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the final tables' grief will turn to joy

1The final table was angry this night. Aggression and resentment hung in the air in a tangible funk, but emerging beneath, conceived in this mood, the gestation of a Fox poker legend had commenced.

2Pete of Spedding was crippled, holding only 2,500 of the 140,000 chips in play. A crowd had gathered as they heard he was on his way out. They drank from the cup mirth and joy as Pete of Spedding quipped that a chop should be had and the final four should share the spoils. John of Salmon saw that it was bad and offered up to Pete his finger, the middle one.

Pete's first denial

3At first John of Salmon, Chris of Peros and Andy of Perrie did not understand. Only after Peter’s first denial of tournament death did they realise that some things are written. Peter had turned 2,500 into 7,500 and blessed was he, the flopped King of Clubs.

Pete's second denial

4Pete of Spedding was again all-in and again denied death - doubling through to 15,000. Now the crowd was with him, his chips were plenty and he had risen from the dead. And so it came to pass, folded round to the blinds, John of Salmon cried out all-in and 12,500 chips were in the middle. But Pete of Spedding was not blind for he could see and took off his grave clothes and did call with Q-8!

Pete's third denial

5John of Salmon did weep as the Queen of diamonds did river and his 10-7 fell fallow. Only the angel who falls knows the depths of hell, and so it came to pass he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. Chris of Peros fell soon after and into the light came heads-up.

6Andy of Perrie with Ace-9 and a 4-1 chip lead was again denied by Pete, who, with Q - 4 did recover to parity by hitting runner-runner-runner on a board of Ace-8-2-3-5 for a wheel straight. Thus, Andy overcome with grief did offer the chop.

7Points were played for and Pete of Spedding ultimately prevailed. Fox Poker legend – conceived in hostility, was delivered in joy and we saw that it was good. Amen.

I've just finished watching the Superbowl. I thought it was rather entertaining (for an American sport). I don't know an awful lot about the game really, I used to follow it when I was a nipper, but these days I only watch it when the Redskins are on or the Cowboys cause they have the sluttiest cheerleaders.

I did want New York to win though as I used to live there and I did get caught up in the whole Boston New York rivalry at the time - it became a sort of surrogate hate filled sporting rivalry while I was detached from the North London derby - so it was splendid to see a New York team put the Patriots in their place.

I hope all those idiots in Boston who ridiculously claim to be Irish are all crying into their fake Guinness as we speak. I believe only Arsenal fans can tell you how it feels to go a whole season undefeated. Don't give me any of that Miami Dolphins horse shit, they only played about 14 games. Plus they play in pastel green, gayers.

Couple of things almost spoiled (spoilt?) the Superbowl for me though. I was disappointed Tom Petty didn't get his nipple out. I thought the half time act was obliged. Also I was rolling my eyes at the typical jingoistic military flavour added to the national anthem. Groan - America, listen to me; if you insist on dedicating every damned national anthem played at sporting events to your armed forces camped in other people's countries, you will never get the rest of the world to love you. And you can sport all the bald eagle star spangled banner tattoos you want, but I know what you really want is more hugs.

Remember, this game goes out to the entire TV watching globe. By having shots of your military in Iraq and Afghanistan when the anthem plays, you're essentially saying we our defined by our military "might." People don't like that, see? Plus, your military is shit anyway. Sending Marines to fight in the desert - it was never gonna work. Pound for pound the US Army is no more of a force than Belgiums and every country in Europe has rifled it's way through Belgium at some point in history on it's way to some where else.

What I'm trying to say is; if you want to celebrate all that's good with America why not have pictures of - erm - I don't know something laudable - Mickey Mouse or Vegas or something, I don't know, just not the Army. What about a nice picture of Ellen Degeneres - she's funny.

Things have got to change, you know what I'm saying? With this in mind, let's discuss the people who might bring about that change. All the remaining Dorito's and bottles of pop I didn't get through this evening will be saved for Super Toosday on er..Tuesday. Twenty four Mercan states go to the polls to elect the two candidates from the reds and blues who will run for President. And I will watch it too, I'll stay up all night. I do this kind of thing.

Smarmy Edwards has given up, mostly because he's a mincer, but I do believe it was ultimately because Obama will benefit. It was a funny time for John Edwards to pack up his pots and pans and head for home - a home that wouldn't vote for him - but I think he did it to help Obama. He hasn't endorsed anyone publicly, but word on the street is he's backed out now cause more than likelywise his votes on Super Toosday will now go to Barack, as the Edwards people are not friends with the Clinton people.

I fancy this to be more exciting than the Superbowl and perhaps if Obama can pull this off, the next Superbowl in 2009 will have a less aggressive theme to it's national anthem and American can slowly come to terms with the fact that it is not the envy of the world, it didn't invent everything and it's sports are gay. I'm having some toast now before bed, goodnight.

"God invented bread, God invented fire, but America invented toast." -- the Pilsbury Doughboy


America's attempt to feed Africa. "We are the world." While I'm on my high horse, it would be nice if you could send them all a few morsels before they get to the stage where their eyes are popping out and they're bellies are the size of basketballs, it's not like you haven't got enough to go around, that's what I always say.

This was twenty years ago - Michael Jackson was still black when they made this record, Africa still looks like it could use a good feed to me, who's sailing the boat you sent all the steaks on? Stevie Wonder?