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Can anyone explain to me why John Part is nicknamed Darth Maple? And also, why do the Sky people have him stood on one of the Chrysler building's art deco eagles in the pouring rain waving his little light sabre about? Even if John Part's nickname made sense, Star Wars was set in a galaxy far far away, not Manhattan.

I find Sky Sport's enthusiasm for such over the top hype and nonsense unfathomable, but in real terms no more so than my wagers I've placed this evening. I woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the afternoon today, woken by a vision of a fat Canadian sporting a luminous green neck-tie. Hmmm, a Canadian; a fat Canadian; a surprising tie? EUREEEKA!

I felt this could only mean John Part will some how eek out a draw against Phil Taylor tonight and at 12.5 on the exchanges it was worth a few shillings. I've also backed PSG and Udinese in the UEFA Cup and I fancy Galatasary to draw with Hamburg also. I have coupled this lot together in doubles and will win millions. I've got nothing more to say on the matter. I've said my piece I'll bid you good day.