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Listen up Americans...now that you've fucked us with your greed and silly banking behaviour I don't want to hear any more of this shit about how we'd all be speaking German if it wasn't you for.

First of all, we wouldn't because you're shit at war - you've never won one on your own - and you only involved yourselves in the second world war when it became apparent that the Germans had no idea how to cross the channel and we would eventually prevail because there is an inherent awesomeness about the English, but more than that - even if you did save us...I'd much rather speak German than Chinese. I'd much rather drink beer served by a buxom wench than tea served in little thimble. I'd be much more comfortable driving a BMW than a rickshaw and I'd definitely be happier living in a home made of bricks than some thing built out of 200 sheets of A4 paper and I think you would too.

Because of your utter greed, because you weren't happy with being the richest country in the galaxy you wanted more and more - Because of this you let the tiny percentage of your population who could actually think for themselves lead you into a supposed promise land much like Moses, but they weren't Moses were they, they were greedy bastards who were only interested in gold plating their taps.

Now you've fucked us all. Because there was no promised land, there was just an arid desert of nothingness. A sandy poverty if you will that you've condemned us all to die in. The chinky chonks now own us all and with their impossible language and even more impossible written language, we have no hope of survival.

Because of your complete refusal to accept that you are not in fact awesome, the western world will now have to wear pyjamas and eat their food with sticks. I hope you're fucking satisfied. Speaking German? Bah,...that's easy. Try saying where's all my money gone in Chinese, you'll choke yourself on your own tongue.

I've said me piece I'll bid you good day.