No doubt had Trinny and Susannah been at hand this afternoon to help me dress they may have saved me an uncomfortable, yet amusing confrontation by the cereals in the Co-op just now. In my defence, I hadn't dressed myself today with a view to causing offense, I simply donned the t-shirt that was at the top of the pile and well, I'll concede it was a little remiss of me not to appreciate how this may be construed by out over-patriotic and hysterically over-sensitive cousins from across the pond, but even if I had, I didn't expect to bump into Brother Jonathon in the Co-op on a Tuesday evening so probably wouldn't have chosen something less provocative anyway.So, this is what I'm wearing anyhoo:
It's not a political statement really, not on my part, it's just a Rage Against The Machine t-shirt. It's the band's political statement, not mine...not really. I just like the band. And anyhoo, I love New York as much as the natives. I lived in that city, it's my favourite city in the whole wide world, I love it; more than I love chocolate eclairs as a matter of fact. I wouldn't want to offend those people. Did I not just spend the last week nurturing Anglo-Mercan relations?
This dude wasn't a New Yorker anyway, he sounded to me like a mid-western freak, the kind of Mercan who salutes the flag in the morning and bang on about us speaking German by now if it weren't for his Father or Grandfather saving our asses etc etc.
So our chat went something like this:-
Septic: "I don't appreciate your shirt sir"
Me: "What's that"
Septic: "Your shirt, I don't appreciate it, you know what day it is?"
Me: "Er, yeah, it's Tuesday"
Septic: "I mean the date, do you know what the date is?"
Me: "Oh I see yes, well, I'm afraid you're not in America now, so your opinion doesn't matter"
Septic: "Nice attitoood"
Me: "Fuck off Yank, you'd be speaking Japanese if it wasn't for us"
I didn't say that last bit, I should have though. I only thought of it when I got back to my car. Damn I should have said that. Silly Mercans.
Anyway..changing the subject, I've got a bullseye that says the McCann woman tops herself before October, Hermann Göring stylee. A final change of subject; the co-op are selling 400g of strawberries for £2. If that's not a bargain to end all bargains I don't know shopping. I became semi-erect when I saw that.
The end.
1 comments:
Even cheaper in Sainsburys. And i could get you a discount!
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