Voy Por Ustedes

I just had another bath, a quicker one this time. I washed my hair with a coconut and honey shampoo that I found in my bathroom and conditioned it with ice shine Pantene Pro V. I've never felt so alive I don't mind telling you. Where my hair was once tired and dry, it is now alive, fragrant and shiny.

But anyway, changing the subject a little, I really think it's time the Welsh called it a day with this "language" of theirs. A joke's a joke I say. An elaborate generation to generation national hoax it may have been, but enough is enough.

I will concede it's one of the greatest ever practical jokes, to be able to keep it going for so long, but a hoax is only hoax if people know about it. Having one of the most sophisticated senses of humour in the world myself, I know how hard it is to fight the urge to take credit for a classic wheeze.

If I know anything about humour, the entire Welsh nation should by now, but itching to come clean. I bet every time they use that damn language, it's all they can do to stop themselves from pissing in their own pants. In many ways it's like the impossibility of the executing the perfect crime. It's only perfect if you don't get caught..but if you don't get caught no one will know or your nefarious genius. A classic catch 22, isn't it.

Speaking of the Welsh, I had occasion to visit stonehenge this week and in the gift shop they sold plush sheep! Granted there are sheep in the adjacent field to this somewhat pointless stone clock, but they're not unique to that area; Christ in women's clothing, there are millions of them just within a five mile radius of my chair. I think there are more sheep in this country than IQ points amongst the entire population of Yorkshire. Can it be that Yanks and Japs are so ignorant of English agriculture that they would assume sheep can only be found in that one field? I fear the answer is yes.


Now then, I'm going to put the kettle on.