Dear Christ what are you?: Physically unique indeed. The product of a marriage twixt Giraffe and Emu? Possibly, but Crouchy knows where the onion bag is. He'll score tonight and no mistake.
What day is it? Wednesday no? I've had a bet today. A punt if you will. And why not. I was going to buy some pants, but I have pants, so I put together a wager, intricately constructed to exploit the gaps in the bookies knowledge of world cup qualifiers.
I know one of the selections was a Peter Crouch goal in 90 minutes tonight, but I forget what the other seven or eight selections were. I think I've foretold of a draw between Uruguay (ha ha...u ar gay) and Argentina. I possibly should have just bought some pants, but I'll have all the underwear a man could want if I spent the £23,000 this £10 acca pays out, exclusively on them.
I know one of the selections was a Peter Crouch goal in 90 minutes tonight, but I forget what the other seven or eight selections were. I think I've foretold of a draw between Uruguay (ha ha...u ar gay) and Argentina. I possibly should have just bought some pants, but I'll have all the underwear a man could want if I spent the £23,000 this £10 acca pays out, exclusively on them.
As we speak Gordon Brown has just announced that the objectives in Afghanistan are clear, but has just reminded us what they are nonetheless. I put it to the Prime Minister, that if they were as clear and well defined as he insists they are, he wouldn't have to remind us what they were.
Indeed people, thirty seconds later I've forgotten his list of objectives and justifications. Sigh. Thank the lord I have resigned from the world and am no longer disturbed by this sort of thing. I think I ought to visit the sammich shop before I dwell further on this issue.
Sky Sports presenter of the day: Millie Clode
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