Voy Por Ustedes

The quiz this evening was a shambles. Not a single history or geography round. Any self respecting quiz connoisseur would have been appalled at the standard. Some shit about Blue Peter and some 80's music nonsense was all I can recall. I may have blacked out it was so appalling.

This was no training for defeating the Barbarians at the Pigeons quiz. In the hosts' defense however, he was pissed and was doing well not to offend the back four of the Carterton under 9's who were in attendance with his language. I can't help but feel disappointed though people.

I'll be honest with you, I've had a few beers ....probably by now at 11.40pm we've all had a good drink, so I feel I can be honest with you. I think of my readers as family see. The thing is, I've always fancied myself as a game show host. If I was put on this Earth to do anything it was this. Les Dawson was my hero. I've always felt he was a comedy genius.

My careers officer at secondary school fancied me as a banker. A good head for figures I had he felt and to be fair to him he was almost right. As it goes I was a gnats pubic hair away from becoming an accountant, but deep in my heart I always aspired to host my own game show and I told him so.

"Lucky bollocks" was my brain child. The show that would make me a million. It never caught on though. Not even Channel 5 wanted to buy the idea. I insisted it was a winner, but they said I was milking a dead cow and should stop emailing them.

Pub quizzes are all that's left for me. I've never hosted one so I think it's time. I feel like it's a good opportunity for me to sport my tuxedo too and to offer up a demanding quiz the likes of which the Cotswalds pub goer has never seen before.

The Windrush Valley Card Club Christmas piss up seems like a good opportunity to realise my dream, but we'll see. I may forget I want to do this tomorrow so it may never happen. In the meantime I'm going for a piss before I attack this bottle of rum that thinks I can't handle it.