Voy Por Ustedes

Now then...what to make of this footballing conundrum this evening. I have a murder of econometric crows in my laboratory who are assuring me this is an easy win for Eng**nd. Not that I want Eng**nd to win, but purely from a punting point of view they've recommended that England -1 goal at 13/8 represents value.

Something within me is preventing me from placing such a wager though. It does on paper look like a comfortable win for Eng**nd, what with Croatia missing one of their most influential players, the game being played at Wembley and with Rooney flinging himself to the ground in the penalty area with such regularity one has to assume Eng**nd will be awarded a penalty at some point...but still I remain unconvinced.

P'raps it's Eng**nd's predictable premature optimism regarding their chances of winning the World Cup. They're bound to become complacent. It's what they do. I'm not convinced Capello has righted all of McClaren's wrongs. Emile Heskey is still in the team for example. His inclusion in any professional football team I find baffling and remarkable - proof if proof were needed that conventional wisdom is rarely correct.

Statistically too, Eng**nd win something like 65% of their games. They're due a loss or a draw. Also, it's 09/09/09 today and Eduardo wears number 9 so surely that's an omen?

I'll have further meetings with my crows later this afternoon, until then I feel it's safer just to leave this one alone and have a few shillings on Robin van Persie to score against the Jocks tonight in 90 minutes at 7/4.


After the football I plan to watch young Derren Brown predict the lottery results. I imagine he's just written down all the combinations and will magically produce the correct one once the draw has been made. How gay, anyone can do that. All you need is 14 million bits of paper and a silly beard.

I hope it's something more impressive than that and by Friday we will all know how to pick the winning numbers so on Saturday we can all hit the jackpot and receive about £1.57 for our troubles.


In other news, I feel I'm old enough now to introduce some eccentricities into my lifestyle. I recognise I'm not necessarily wealthy enough to be considered eccentric, but I'm going to give it a go. I'll start with something small. I think I'll borrow Hugh Hefner's trademark fashion statement and only wear pajamas, regardless of where I am or who I'm with. Not silk ones though as we don't have the climate for that. Mark's and Spencer's ones with my nice thick blue dressing gown.

Once I've become comfortable with this I plan to learn German and adopt the persona of a bitter World War II SS officer pining for the Fatherland and what might have been. Should be fun.